Articles, Hockey

It’s gonna be a long season

The 2021 Vancouver Canucks are objectively not a good hockey team. Oh sure, once in a while they put together a solid period, but for the most part they’re like the middle Harry Potter novels: a few likeable but wildly inconsistent characters meander through overly long situations. Meanwhile, gaping holes leave even the most devoted fans wondering if and when we’ll see light at the end of the tunnel.

Brock Boeser might lose hockey games, but he sure as shootin’ didn’t lose the genetic lottery, amirite? Here he is doing his impression of a young Brad Pitt from A River Runs Through It. Screen capture from a Sportsnet intermission interview.

Elias Pettersson scored his first goal against the Habs on Saturday, but he has literally stumbled out of the gate so far this season. But even when he’s stayed on his skates, EP40 has looked ever so terrestrial thus far. Here’s an egregious giveaway that turned into a shorty for the rouge, blanc, et bleu:

Petey hasn’t been the only one. The Canucks as a team have been awash in unforced errors, a fact not lost on social media of all stripes.

Here’s last year’s leading scorer, JT Miller, showing us why his return was what this Canucks team needed to get off to the races. Oh. Wait.

The only bright spot this season has been Bo Horvat, whose five goals in seven games positions has him tied in the early race for this year’s Rocket Richard trophy. Not only is he milking that bumper spot on the power play like a young Mike Bossy, Horvat is getting up in the grill of opponents who take liberty with Vancouver goalkeepers:

Okay, but back to that Bo Horvat, Goal Scorer thing for a minute. It is imperative that the Canucks build multiple looks into the power play. When teams take away the Pettersson one-timer, or when Pettersson is in a funk and misfires, or when the mother ship comes to take Pettersson back to Planet Hockey, this beautiful tic-tac-toe routine has to do the heavy lifting. And in the first seven games, both Canuck wins dumped freaking pianos on this play’s back.

No matter what happens between the pipes at the other end, however, Vancouver needs some serious work on the back end. Even if it’s the lowly Ottawa Senators, giving the opposition this much open ice is going to end badly for the good guys:

I’m not sure this one is Holtby’s fault.
That’s what we in the biz call a shitty line change.

Coverage like this, coupled with all of those giveaways mentioned earlier, is unacceptable in fricking beer league. This despite the fact that the Canucks have well over $20 million wrapped up in their top seven defenders. Good citizens, that’s more than a quarter of the salary cap!

Screen grab from https://www.capfriendly.com/teams/canucks.

I enjoy chaos as much as the next guy — well okay, maybe not as much as Jeff Marek — but frankly this team is lacking what we call in soccer, ‘shape’. At any given time, a team with good shape is in a position to react to their opponent. If there’s a loose puck, there’s a player nearby to go after it. If there’s an attack, a defender can mitigate the situation. If there’s a chance to advance, there’s a player ready to move forward.

Good teams support the puck; that means, when your defenceman pinches into a forward position, you cover their patch of ice. If you’re defending a two-on-one, you don’t slide feet first into the corner; you take away the pass and diminish the puck carrier’s options. And for crying out loud, you don’t give a talented goal scorer like Tyler Toffoli acres of open ice to play around in on multiple occasions over a three-game stretch. The Canucks are successfully executing pretty much none of these things for long stretches at the moment. Like a minivan full of toddlers, they seem to just pile onto the ice whenever their number is called and mindlessly chase the puck en masse until the referee stops play.

As a result, the Canucks have allowed 33 goals in just seven games. That’s not just worst in the NHL, it’s the worst by a full 10 goals. Edmonton is atrocious and sit at 30th overall, and they’ve only given up 23 goals in that same span.

There may only be 56 games on the schedule this year, but if this continues, it’s gonna be a helluva long year for Canucks fans.

Articles, Soccer

Whitecaps Head South Needing Only a Draw

The first leg is in the books, and it’s onward and southward to Seattle for the climax of this thus far rather anticlimactic playoff series between the Vancouver Whitecaps and the Seattle Sounders. The first leg in Vancouver this past Sunday was a cagey affair. Tension-filled, a chess match, one for the purists. In a word, it was boring. But the Whitecaps accomplished what they set out to. They denied Seattle an away goal, and enter Century Link Field needing only not to lose to advance.

Can they find any offence? That is the question hovering over the club and its supporters. Sure, the team can play defensively sound when it wants to, but the Seattle tandem of Lodeiro and Dempsey is likely to test them. Stefan Marinovic has been solid since assuming the starter’s job, but the best of keepers will be beaten if the line in front of them breaks or is broken down. Pulling the trick Seattle pulled in last year’s MLS Cup Final and winning without an attempt on goal is not likely to fly here. Offence will be needed, and it’s offence this club has struggled to find at times this year. They are the lowest-scoring remaining club in the playoffs. If the best eleven is available, there is hope, but Carl Robinson said just a few days ago that Yordy Reyna and Cristian Techera may not be available. If that’s the case, it’s anybody’s guess where the Whitecaps will find goals. Christian Bolaños looked capable of generating offence early in the season, but the same has not been true recently. Since returning from a knee injury he’s looked less sharp, and hasn’t been the threat Vancouver needs. Nicolas Mezquida had a brace against San Jose a week ago, but that was when the Earthquakes were chasing the game and Vancouver was pummelling them on the counter. Nosa Igiebor, who looked calm and excellent against Portland in the final regular season match, did not look like the attacking midfielder role suited him in the first leg. Fredy Montero is great at popping up out of nowhere to poach a goal, but he did not look like his former self until Reyna arrived on the scene and started unlocking other defences. So perhaps, as so often this year, it will be the hope of an early set piece goal and then a counter as their opponents press.

Carl Robinson says he likes the underdog role. He better. The oddsmakers certainly see them as such. Sports Betting Dime in particular has the Whitecaps at +380, with the Sounders -143, on expectations that Reyna and Techera can’t go. If either of those two look like slotting in, those odds will skew back to the visitors.

And if Vancouver can get past the Sounders, it’s a beatable Houston side or a ridiculously banged up Portland that will be all that stands between the Caps and their first MLS Cup appearance.

Vancouver Whitecaps at Seattle Sounders
November 2nd, 7:30pm
TSN 5 / TSN 1040

Articles, Soccer

Dallas Dives Into BC Place To Meet Whitecaps on Saturday

After a much needed 2-week layoff, the Vancouver Whitecaps return to the pitch on Saturday to take on the infamous miscreants and divers of FC Dallas. The Caps have been on a bit of a roll in the league, winners of four of their last six matches, and unlucky (in one case hideously unlucky) not to have at least a point in all six. Can they keep the wave of success going against the Texans?

Dallas still sit third in the western conference, but have been in a bit of a slump since the end of April. In their last eight matches they have only two wins, both against lowly Real Salt Lake. (Though, in fairness, they beat the holy hell out of lowly Real Salt Lake on both occasions.) Outside of those wins, they’re managing less than a goal a game.

If we’re fortunate, we may get to see a battle of 16-year-old phenoms, as Alphonso Davies, fresh off his national team debut, may line up against Dallas’ Jesus  Ferreira. Ferreira, who recently bagged a goal in his debut, will be familiar to Caps fans via his father, David, who nearly single-handedly gave Dallas their reputation as cheating scumbags. Hopefully the lad picked up his dad’s talent without acquiring his love of playing against Vancouver or his tendency to be blown over by a calm easterly breeze.

Carl Robinson has settled on a starting eleven over the last month or two, but national team duty has taken its toll. Kendall Waston and Christian Bolanos both left Costa Rica’s matches with injuries and there is no word yet how long they’ll be out. With Bernie Ibini and Yordi Reyna still not quite ready, look for Brek Shea to get back into the starting lineup on the wing. Replacing Waston will be the more interesting decision. Russell Teibert impressed for Les Rouges on Tuesday, and could slot in beside Tony Tchani, freeing Andrew Jacobson up to move back to CB. Alternatively, Robinson could opt for a straight swap and hope Cole Seiler will be steady enough beside Tim Parker.

The key matchup will be on Vancouver’s left flank where Dallas’ Michael Barrios, who had three assists against RSL two weeks ago, will be looking for more. Much will depend on the ability of Jordan Harvey and Cristian Techera to shut him down. If he’s allowed too much space to operate, Vancouver is in for a bad time.

I tend to think that the two-week layoff, along with the teams’ respective form, will see Vancouver through, and I’m not alone. Sascha Paruk, editor and oddsmaker at Sports Betting Dime agrees, saying: “The home team has not lost in the last 11 matches between the two. Barring any major injuries, Vancouver should be about a 4/3 favorite with Dallas around 3/1 and the draw at 11/5.”

Articles, Soccer

Waston Strong: Vancouver 3-1 Atlanta United

The Vancouver Whitecaps returned to MLS action on Saturday afternoon, having been eliminated from Voyageurs Cup action on Tuesday in Montreal. Visiting for the first time were MLS leading scorers Atlanta United. It’s not often that the bulletin board material comes from your own club, but so it was on this day when Vancouver’s defenders put in an excellent day’s work the day after the club’s own twitter account encouraged people to come out and buy tickets to watch the visitors’ offence. Vancouver would ride captain Kendall Waston’s head to a 3-1 victory at BC Place. Continue reading Waston Strong: Vancouver 3-1 Atlanta United →

Articles, Hockey

Stanley Cup final prediction

I would love nothng more than seeing PK Subban carry the Stanley Cup into Montreal Children’s Hospital. I would totally get behind Pekka Rinne’s name on the Conn Smythe trophy as playoff MVP. I’d even sing along if Carrie Underwood twanged her way through a cover of The Good Ol’ Hockey Game by Stompin’ Tom.

Sadly for @PredsOnTheGlass and all the other country-fried hockey fans in Nashville, it’s not meant to be.

Sidney Crosby is going to lead the Pittsburgh Penguins to back-to-back championships, the first time a team has repeated since Steve Yzerman captained the Detroit Red Wings to consecutive Cups in 1997 and 1998.

The Pens are just too deep, too good, and they’ve been here before. Nashville are rested, yes, but they’ve also had time to cool off since their wins over the underwhelming Blues and the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ Ducks. From Sid and Evgeni Malkin down through rookie Jake Guentzel and beard salesman Nick Bonino, Pittsburgh just gets things done.

Nashville is an impressive unit, and they’ve earned their spot here in the final, but it will take a minor miracle (or some strategic injuries) to unseat the champs. Let’s just hope every single game is good hockey, because thus far this post-season has been damned entertaining. It would be a damned shame if the Preds’ first final appearance — and Sid’s third Cup win — was a dog.

Pens in six.

Sid wore this badass Gladiator helmet after winning the Cup last year. This year, will he go Lord of the Rings?

Articles, Soccer

There’s No Place Like Home: Whitecaps 2-0 Sporting Kansas City

And, I’m back. Apologies, dear readers, for the absence. A combination of sloth, apathy, and a work schedule full of conflicts kept me from covering the Whitecaps interminable road trip. But now, as the blue and white choose the first genuinely nice day in 2017 to return to the stuffy confines of BC Place, I return to you with my usual brand of stuffy wit, dry humour, and, apparently, Wizard of Oz headlines. Continue reading There’s No Place Like Home: Whitecaps 2-0 Sporting Kansas City →

Articles, Hockey

Round Two Predictions

My calls for the last round were pretty good, actually, all things considered. I tapped the Rangers, Senators, Penguins, Blues, Ducks and Capitals; my only misses came from Edmonton — but the ageing Sharks had injuries across the board, so I give myself a pass on that one — and Nashville — a sweep, seriously? Nobody predicted that.

Record so far: 6-2.

Pekka Rinne played out of his mind for that first round. I mean, did you see this? PK Subban’s energy has to be rousing that locker room just as much as the sea of mustard at Bridgestone Arena, and Peter Laviolette behind the bench has the Preds playing as well as I’ve ever seen them play. Still, the boys from St Loo are just too deep, and it’s Vladimir Tarasenko’s year, methinks. Blues in six.

The addition of Connor McDavid has instilled an actual work ethic in the Edmonton dressing room. For a few years now, they’ve been fun to watch, but half of that was in anticipation of the inevitable self-inflicted immolation. I thought it had happened again when the San Jose Sharks scored a touchdown in Game Four of the first round, but the Oilers impressed with two straight wins directly afterward. All of this points to a Western Conference powerhouse for years to come. However, this year their goaltending is going to let them down. Anaheim can feel the window closing on that core of Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, Ryan Kesler, Jakob Silfverberg and Cam Fowler. I hate to give those shitty webfooted jerseys another round, but I’ve got to call Ducks in six. I’ll be thrilled if the Oil can prove me wrong.

Erik Karlsson is my second favourite NHL defenceman (after Drew Doughty, natch), and Craig Anderson’s personal situation makes the Sens an easy emotional choice. Hell, they’ve even got Alex Burrows gutting out shift after shift to pull on my heart strings. Karlsson is rumoured to be playing on a wonky foot, however, and Burrows is done as far as slaying dragons is concerned. Across the ice is a squad just one year removed from a Stanley Cup loss to the LA Kings; Henrik Lundqvist has all but said that his window is about shut, and Alain Vigneault knows how to get teams deep in this tournament. Rangers in six.

Aha, the pièce de résistance. Sidney Crosby versus Alex Ovechkin. So far in their careers, Sid the Kid has owned Ovi8; sure, the big Russian has won more Rocket Richard trophies for scoring the most goals in a single season, but Sid has two Olympic gold medals, a couple of Stanley Cups, a Conn Smythe, and too many other awards to count. Just last year, the Penguins followed Crosby’s lead to one of the strongest second half / playoff combinations we’ve seen in recent memory. This year, Sid was dominant, winning his second career Richard trophy and finishing second in league scoring. The Pens are as deep as the day is long, and are a serious threat to repeat as Cup champions. All of this aside (not to mention Malkin’s 11 first-round points against the Blue Jackets), this is Ovechkin’s year. Brayden Holtby is just plain better than Marc-Andre Fleury between the pipes, and the Caps have TJ Oshie, Kevin Shattenkirk, Nicklas Backstrom… and you never, ever bet against Justin Williams in the playoffs. Caps in the most entertaining seven-game series we’ve seen since the ’94 Canucks-Rangers final.

 

Articles, Soccer

Sounders Somehow Lose To Whitecaps: Vancouver 2-1 Seattle

It’s amazing what having a proven goal scorer can do for your side. When you don’t have one, sometimes you get games like last year’s tilt between Vancouver and New York Red Bulls, where Erik Hurtado couldn’t hit the ocean from a boat. When you do have one, you get games like last night, where a Fredy Montero brace earned the Whitecaps a win in 2017’s Cascadia Cup opener despite them being outplayed and outchanced. I was not in the building on Friday evening due to work, so this post is based on a viewing of the game two days later, with the result already known. My conclusion is this: some of your perceptions are clouded by what looked like a great derby atmosphere and a win.  Continue reading Sounders Somehow Lose To Whitecaps: Vancouver 2-1 Seattle →

Articles, Hockey

Round One Predictions

Playoff predictions are a fine art. You can put dozens of hours into statistical analysis and go oh-fer, and another year ignore the standings altogether and win your bracket based on jersey colours alone.

Me, I’m going somewhere in-between. Stirring a wee bit of gut instinct in with hardcore hockey knowhow, I’m pretty sure I’ll bat roughly .500 in my ROUND ONE PREDICTIONS:

It’s hard to bet against Carey Price, but the New York Rangers have a stronger roster and better coaching. Give it to the blueshirts: Rangers in six.

Despite his imressive World Cup of Hockey tourney earlier this year (and a hat trick here against the Canucks a few weeks back), Brad Marchand will never get my vote. The Senators, on the other hand, have Craig Anderson and Erik Karlsson. Sens in seven.

John Tortorella may have scared Columbus into contention through the season, but it’s hard to believe he can conjure serious playoff mojo — especially when Crosby & Co. are skating the other way. Make it five series in a row for Pittsburgh. Pens in five.

Minnesota Wild fans have some wonderful things to cheer for this year, and may just get some playoff payoff sometime soon, but the Blues are just too dangerous to ignore. Tarasenko scores six goals and threatens many, many more times than that. Blues in six.

There`s been little more exciting this year than Connor McDavid`s emergence as the league`s premier scoring threat. Edmonton, after so many years of pathetic play, is finally more than just happy to be here. Still, San Jose has too much to work with at both ends of the ice; their goaltending is the difference. Sharks in seven.

Like McDavid, Auston Matthews is fantastic. However, Leaf Nation will need another couple of years before they can turn playoff towels into playoff wins. Alex Ovechkin, on the other hand, might just win his Cup this year. (Can`t you just taste that White House visit, you Big Russian?) Caps in five.

Nashville always plays Chicago hard, and Pekka Rinne can steal a few games for the Predators at any moment. I would love to see PK Subban go a few rounds just to snub the idiot Habs for trading him away. That said, the Blackhawks are still the class of the league on paper, and they`ve got enough Cup pedigree on the roster to preclude any bets for those ugly yellow shirts across the hall. Hawks in six.

Calgary should just stay home. Ducks in five.

Articles, Soccer

Whitecaps Don’t Disappoint Despite Loss – Vancouver 1-2 Tigres UANL (1-4 agg.)

Brek Shea scored early for Vancouver in the second leg of the CCL semi-final against Tigres, before coming off with an injury five minutes later. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head

I walked into BC Place Stadium last night with a curious sense of optimism and excitement. For one thing, there are almost no paths to disappointment when you enter the second leg of a series against one of the best teams in North America down 2-0. For another, I’m not cut out for big games. Even routine Cascadian derbies turn me into a bit of a wreck. I was basically useless at being a human for 48 hours before the Canucks’ 2011 game seven.  And finally, these are sensations that six plus years of Whitecaps FC fandom has mostly beaten out of me. Like most Whitecaps fans, I can’t help but imagine what fresh hell the team will concoct in their never ending quest to find creative new ways to lose cup competitions. So… I was puzzled at my optimism. Then Brek Shea engineered the dream start with a goal in the third minute, and suddenly, against my better judgement, I thought perhaps the optimism was warranted. Continue reading Whitecaps Don’t Disappoint Despite Loss – Vancouver 1-2 Tigres UANL (1-4 agg.) →