The 2012 playoffs are under way, and I’d like to congratulate officiating crews on and off the ice for kicking things off with a bang. Zebras in all three games on day one were awful, and Brendan Shanahan made complete his cold-water shrinkage from pre-season promises to trade in the NHL Wheel of Justice for consistent punishment across the league.

Before you think this is a partisan rant about the Vancouver Canucks getting jobbed of game one against the Los Angeles Kings, I’d like to proffer this: the Kings were by far the better team Wednesday night, and if not for the early heroics of Roberto Luongo, would have been in a 3-0 or 4-0 position long before calls became an issue. Also, the royal men from SoCal were flogged by a couple of questionable whistles too – I am under no delusions that Vancouver deserved that first game. Refs in Vancouver, Nashville and Pittsburgh were way too visible on the first night. Even the affable Detroit Red Wings coach Mike Babcock commented on it during an in-game interview with Brian Engblom:

Sadly, I don’t have time to outline all the egregious calls and non-calls the various refs and linesmen screwed up last night. That’s all right, you can certainly find biased coverage in papers, websites and radio coverage in all six cities today. But here’s a quick overview:

1) Missed calls and phantom calls beleaguer the Kings and Canucks in game one. The refs can’t not call the delay of game penalties that result in consecutive 5-on-3s, and Byron Bitz’s hit to Kyle Clifford’s head is a major in any game in the world – but most of the other calls on both teams were iffy at best. The Canucks were unable to create counterflow to the Kings attack, and Henrik sat most of the first two periods as his teammates warmed the bench in the box. Again, Vancouver didn’t deserve this game, far from it. But the fans deserved better for their time and money than all that power play time. Grade: D.

2) The Predators and Red Wings were two of the least-penalized teams in the league this year, but the zebras in Nashville last night made more calls than a teenage girl with an unlimited cel phone plan. (Yeah, I know it’s a weak metaphor, but the officiating was weak – get it?) At least the ref’s’ makeup calls weren’t magnified by bad rules like above – but the game had no momentum for all the whistlin’ goin’ on. Grade: C-.

3) Pittsburgh let a 3-0 lead slip away, and the Flyers are full merit for taking advantage of shoddy work by both the Pens defense and the referees. Take, for example, Daniel Briere’s first playoff goal: he scored on a breakway, because he was at least a metre inside the blueline before the puck got there. Offside doesn’t even begin to describe what should have been called here. (Well, okay, it’s actually precisely what should have been called here. Full stop. It’s a figure of speech.) Instead, the Flyers were on the board, and lo, the comeback was under way. Even without a botched icing call that favoured Philly late in the game, the linesmen were going to be on trial for this one. Grade: E.

4) Brendan Shanahan should be ashamed of himself. The face of the Predators, Shea Weber, introduced the face of Henrik Zetterberg to a turnbuckle on the end boards in Nashville’s game one win. It was clearly an intent to injure, a shot to the head, out of the flow of the play, you name it. But because this is a superstar defenseman, he’s only fined $2,500? If Aaron Rome is assessed four games of the Stanley Cup finals for the split second late delivery of an otherwise legal hit, Weber deserves to sit for a minimum of the first two rounds. It’s a disgusting non-call and leaves players open to concussions, facial injuries and worse in future battles along the boards.

Refs, last night you sucked.