Dave Tippett tore the Oilers a new one after Wednesday’s opening night loss. He lit into them for playing a complacent game, giving up on plays, and donating scads of open ice to Canuck forwards. He may or may not have used a few o’ them fancy cuss words that Nicholas Cage is talking about over on the Netflix. When he was done, he stomped out of the dressing room. The rest is ridiculous.

Long story short, Connor McDavid and the rest of the Oilers big guns were having none of the Canucks bullshit in game two. McDavid lit the lamp once, twice, thrice, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins scored a brace, and Leon Draisaitl put up four assists. It was a track meet, okay? But who are we kidding, it’s the Chosen One we need to discuss here.

The Canucks had a decent start, at least. Thatcher Demko made a couple of spectacular saves, the top line had a couple of power play looks, and the good guys were down just 1-0 with 2.5 seconds left in the first. Then, well, this happened.

Okay, we knew the Canucks wouldn’t keep McDavid goalless all season. After the intermission, they came out buzzing, Nate Schmidt lasered his first as a Canuck, whooping into the empty stands like Ric Flair gone wild… and then somebody queued up Sweet Georgia Brown.

Ain’t nobody stopping that.

After that, it was a track meet. And when you run against the fastest guy on the planet, you lose.

You can’t blame Demko tonight. He made 41 saves against one of the most potent offenses in the league. The guy at the other end of the ice, though, Mikko Koskinen, made 38 saves on 40 tries. Count ’em up, and McDavid scored one more than the entire Canucks team.

Full game highlights here: