One More Must-Win

Whitecaps Wednesday

You’re sitting back in your moderately comfy computer chair right now, smug as can be. You think you’ve been let off the hook. Everything is good in your world – the Whitecaps are in the playoffs. The B.C. Lions also clinched a berth in the postseason over the weekend. The Canucks have won their last two contests. Your significant other made you dinner last night and Halloween is fast approaching. And let’s be honest, only the curmudgeoniest of the curmudgeons dislike Halloween. So you’ve got that going for you as well.

Most importantly, however, is that an entire MLS season has passed without a sniff of poetry on Pucked in the Head.

“Thank goodness,” all four of you proclaim, “another week down without being subjected to that amateur writer’s boorish attempt at creating literary culture!”

Whitecaps fans wait with bated breath for the next installment of impeccable poetry on Pucked in the Head. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Whitecaps fans in full support of the newest addition of impeccable poetry on Pucked in the Head. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

But be warned: it’s all about to come crashing down. The Whitecaps are heading to Dallas (or Frisco, if you want to be argumentative), playing for the MLS Cup. And there are a couple of things that are fantastic about the scenario.

Take note: firstly, this team won four of their last five games (and earned a draw in the other), ardently shedding the stigma of being unable to play in pressure situations. Secondly, their path, should they advance, runs through CenturyLink Field, and that would be a helluva lotta fun.

In any case, I think I’ve committed enough crimes against grammar in the first few paragraphs, so without further ado – enjoy the poetry. I title this one:

Limericks for Playoff Kicks

There once was a man from Llandrindod Wells,
Home of the splendid Hall-at-Abbey Hotel,
He came to Vancouver,
Usurped the Scot ruler,
And immediately learned how to yell.

Shortly ‘fore the season began,
A Brazilian in golden boots ran,
Cheap was his talk,
And now he’s a Cock,
Which we knew before learning his plan.

Summertime struggles put the playoffs in doubt,
One win in ten and the Whitecaps were out,
A September meeting,
The losses turned fleeting,
And supporters waved bye to the drought.

Whitecaps FC keeper David Ousted has played a key part in lifting the Whitecaps into the playoffs, leading the league in clean sheets with 13. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Whitecaps FC keeper David Ousted played a key part in lifting the Whitecaps into the playoffs, leading the league in clean sheets with 13. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

The season took a turn for the better,
‘Twas looking fine, like the coach’s best sweater,
Points they were earned,
And lessons were learned,
‘Fore the playoffs were sealed with a clutch header.

Cascadia Cup victors two years in a row,
And a Champions’ League berth firmly in tow,
Things are looking up,
Now they fight for the cup,
Let’s hear it for the man they call Robbo.

Marie Hui is well-loved as the anthem singer for Whitecaps FC matches at BC Place. Now she'll lend her talents to the Table Hockey Extravaganza. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Marie Hui approves this poetry. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

-30-

The Whitecaps take on FC Dallas tonight, in a stadium where they have had little success to date. But this team comes into the game playing their best soccer of the year and with four straight clean sheets to end their season, it’s anybody’s game. Plus, they’ve gotten pretty good at this must-win thing.

Whitecaps FC’s second postseason match in MLS history kicks off at 6:00 pm and can be seen on TSN1.