Caps continue to shine on the road

The Whitecaps continue to shine on the road, taking a 1-1 draw out of Portland this weekend. They’ve taken five points off the Timbers in their three-game season series, notching a win at BC Place back in March and two draws at Providence Park in Portland.

Why is this a big deal? I’m glad you asked.

First, because the Caps just cannot freaking score. Between the Whitecaps, the Canadian national teams — both men’s and women’s, thank you very much — and recent editions of the Canucks and Giants, fans in Vancouver are becoming offended with the lack of offensive production.

Okay, besides that? The Caps took a point out of Portland three months back, you say. Well, the Timbers just don’t concede many points at home — in fact, they’ve won five straight since tying that May 2 match against Vancouver. So it’s pretty darned special for the effing dynamite boys in blue and white to scamper back up the I-5 with a couple of points in their back pocket.

Let’s not forget to look at the Western Conference standings. Vancouver sits just two points back of the dirty, rotten, stinkin’, divin’ dogs from FC Dallas, sure, but only three points separate top spot from the sixth place Timbers. Not only did the Caps steal two points out of Providence Park, but they prevented Portland from getting their muddy mitts on the full six points up for grabs, too.

This draw wasn’t a moral victory, either. It wasn’t the lucky 0-0 draw they got back in May. In that match, Darlington Nagbe put a penalty kick off the post and out of play in the 30th minute. Portland carried most of the possession, and probably deserved better for their efforts. Saturday’s match was a different story. Kekuta Manneh could have scored twice himself, but was stopped by keeper Adam Kwarasey on a breakway and, later, by hirsute defender Nat Borchers on a goal-line slide.

Check out the highlights below, I dare ya.

Portland Timbers defender Nat Borchers and Vancouver Whitecaps striker Octavio Rivero. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Octavio Rivero gets his foot on a loose ball which had fallen out of Nat Borchers’ beard. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

While they’ve been fair to middling at home, the Caps have been bloody road warriors this season. They’ve won away against the Chicago Fire, Orlando FC, Real Salt Lake, Los Angeles Galaxy, New York Red Bulls and New England Revolution, matching a franchise record of six wins away from BC Place in a single season. This, with five away games left in the MLS schedule. Despite scoring just 24 goals in 21 matches overall — an abysmal 1.14 goals per game — Vancouver is the only team in the Major League Soccer with a positive goal differential away from home.

There is a host of theories about Vancouver’s success on the road, most of which discuss the team’s speedy core of strikers being custom built for the counter attack. At BC Place, they just haven’t shown a consistent ability to parse visitors who sit back and defend — they’re much more comfortable letting other teams come at them, then turning the ball over in the midfield and sending their dynamic forwards, well, forward. Are they good at stopping the ball themselves? Sure. Kendall Waston has shut down opposition strikers game in and game out. Tim Parker has shown surprising dexterity and poise on the back line, and Christian Dean in limited play this year has looked solid. David Ousted? Well, he’s been superb this year. Oustanding, you might say.

Vancouver Whitecaps FC Man of the Match David Ousted. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
David Ousted has been deservedly named as a last-minute addition to the MLS All-Star roster. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

With the summer transfer window open, fans are hoping Carl Robinson can find another Octavio Rivero to jumpstart some offense. If this team could score with any regularity, they’d in all likelihood be in strong contention for the Supporters’ Shield. As it is, even with an anemic finish, they’re still in the conversation.

Vancouver’s next game is at home on July 26 against the atrocious San Jose Earthquakes. It’s a game they should win, against a non-playoff team. Therefore, expect the Whitecaps to play an uninspired 90 minutes that produces little or no results. What better way to limp into August, a month that sees Vancouver play eight matches in three competitions in just 29 days.

More Cheers, Fewer Beers

Hi, I’m Russell Arbuthnot. You may remember me from such blog postings as “A Rennie Saved is a Rennie Earned” and “Band-Aids and Berber.” Typically, my audience (thanks to both my mom and my editor) is used to reading my cogitations on football, but like, the European kind. Here in North America, the colloquial term for the sport is “soccer”, yet our local “soccer” team denotes itself as a “football club” despite playing in Major League Soccer.

It just so happens that we also have another football club in town, which actually plays what is commonly referred to as football in this here continent. The BC Lions F.C. kicked off the 2015 season this past Friday night, providing the first opportunity for the team and fans alike to experience the purported new and improved atmosphere at BC Place.

These dudes weren't in the conference room — they're available for sale at the front counter, though. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
A general feeling of over-crowding is exactly what the Lions are looking for this season after closing off the upper deck at BC Place.  Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Now, fair reader, you may be asking yourself, “Why is this dolt writing about CFL football?” Good question. Jason asked me to produce a preview for the Whitecaps game versus Kansas City in a limited time frame. Me, being the social butterfly that I am, had committed to a variety of good times the likes of which you would never be invited to, so I just couldn’t make it work. One of these events was the aforementioned Lions home opener, hence the revised assignment request. I was there. I got a free hat. Bonus.

Continue reading More Cheers, Fewer Beers

Episode 070: the Canucks are bleeding out

Russell and Jason go with off-season hockey for episode 70: mostly Canucks stuff, but we throw some Brandon Saad and Phil Kessel in there for good measure. Bonus CanCon with Trooper hitting up the outro track.

  • Introduction
  • Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
  • Scars, plasma and exposed dermis, oh my!
  • Canucks bleeding out
  • Sell low, buy pretty much nothing
  • So long Eddie, so long Shawn, so long Juice
  • Vancouver media and their goldfish attention sp…
  • Prust is trade bait at the deadline
  • What about Ryan Miller & the twins?
  • Brandon Saad gets PAID
  • Will Phil Kessel finally hit 40 goals?
  • Three Dressed Up as a Nine by Trooper
  • Thanks for Listening

Adios, Mr Kassian. May your IQ be always in your favour.

Ex-Canucks forward Zack Kassian is an ugly man. Photo stolen without shame from a Pinterest page devoted to ol' Zack.
Ex-Canucks forward Zack Kassian is an ugly man. Photo stolen without shame from a Pinterest page devoted to ol’ Zack.

Putting your favourite sports team’s troubles in perspective.

Because we all need, from time to time, to feel like hey, at least we aren’t that guy, Pucked in the Head is pleased to bring you some news from the Oceania region.

The Federated States of Micronesia recently decided, for the first time in their history, to try and qualify for the Olympics in the sport of men’s football. For those unfamiliar with the tiny island nation, it’s, well, tiny. My garden shed is bigger than this country, as the Voyageurs’ chant goes, and I live in an apartment. The country has a total land area smaller than Metro Vancouver and a population base in the neighbourhood of Maple Ridge. The players had in most cases never left their own island prior to the tournament, and in some cases had never played 11-a-side football before. You might expect this qualification attempt to go poorly. You might be correct.

Micronesia, not a member of FIFA, was put into a group with Tahiti (182nd), Fiji (195th) and Vanuatu (200th) at the Pacific Games, an Olympic qualifying tournament. They lost to those teams 0-30, 0-38 and 0-46 respectively. That’s what happens when you use goal differential as a tie breaker. Here are some highlights, if you can bear to watch.

US women capture third World Cup title

Love ’em or hate ’em, you can’t deny the fact that the American women have dominated women’s soccer for more than 20 years. Their last meaningful loss came at the 2011 Women’s World Cup in Germany, when Japan shocked them with late tying goals in both regulation and extra time, then ultimately won on penalties.

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The 2015 team started this tournament in lacklustre fashion, but turned it on in the semis and final game. They struck four times in the first 16 minutes in Vancouver, embarrassing the Japanese defense with intense play and raw will in the box. The fourth goal, which capped a hat trick for midfielder Carli Lloyd, was a cheeky chip shot from centre field, as keeper Ayumi Kaihori was caught well off her line shouting directions at her team when they turned over the ball.

It was an odd performance by the Japanese, who looked uncharacteristically rattled by the raucous US-dominated crowd.

More later, notably when Russell and I chat the Women’s World Cup this upcoming Wednesday on the radio show. Check out CIVL Radio, or the podcast later in the week for that riveting discussion!

Episode 069: The back side of the ball

John Stewart guests in our second baseball episode. We talk the back side of the ball in this, the 69th episode of Pucked in the Head.

• Introduction
• Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
• Mike Zunino can’t hit but he frames pitches like a master
• Paxton designed Zunino’s mitt
• Robinson Cano has a sky high baseball IQ
• A happy little dance at shortstop
• John loves Felix Hernandez
• John loves Kyle Seager, too
• John loves being a nerd, three
• Being a manager is a tough gig
• Stompa! by Serena Ryder

Is decor a dirty word?

My most prized bit of sports decor: a framed 8x10 of Hall of Fame goaltender Gerald Michael "Cheesey" Cheevers. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
My most prized bit of sports decor: a framed 8×10 of Hall of Fame goaltender Gerald Michael “Cheesey” Cheevers. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

I like my sports stuff. Photos, cards, jerseys… you name it, I’ve got a few. My favourite piece for years has been an 8×10 Gerry Cheevers signed for me when he was in town for a Vancouver Giants Legends Night— dude, CHEEVERS! Two Stanley Cups, the 1974 Canada Cup, a stint in the WHA, and that iconic mask, are you kidding me? This guy is the very epitome of old timey hockey. He’s even got his own three-chord proto-punk song, for crying out loud.

Mrs Pucked in the Head isn’t so wild about having 8x10s and pucks littered about the place, however, even if they have been scribbled upon by ageing professional athletes. I have to pick and choose what goes up on the wall, and what goes into storage. (Sure, I’m a sucker for cutesy pictures of our daughter, but we’ve got plenty of those photos around the rest of the house. I can moon over her adorableness in just about any other room, at pretty much any time, so I stamp this room with my own personal clutter, thank you very much.)

Probably the prettiest medal I've earned so far came from the 2014 Rock n Roll Vancouver half marathon. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Probably the prettiest medal I’ve earned so far came from the 2014 Rock n Roll Vancouver half marathon. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Since I started running last year, for example, I’ve managed to assemble a fistful of finisher medals from 10k races, half marathons and that one bloody full marathon I did back in May. Throw a few of those on the curtain rod, and they look all right. Add some hockey memorabilia and a small collection of tribal masks acquired during various vacations, and you’ve got a cosy little office space.

Continue reading Is decor a dirty word?

Tate Olson, Vancouver Canucks draftee

Here’s photographic evidence that Tate Olson indeed plays the game of hockey. He was selected 210th overall by the Vancouver Canucks in the 2015 NHL Entry Draft.

Tate Olson, 210th selection in the 2015 NHL Entry Draft. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Tate Olson was selected 210th overall by the Vancouver Canucks in the 2015 NHL Entry Draft. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

The red coats are coming! Canada – England at the Women’s World Cup

Before the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup, Canada coach John Herdman predicted his squad would definitely reach the quarter finals. It wasn’t exactly a huge leap — the team is ranked eighth in the world, and came away from the 2012 Olympics with a bronze medal — but announcing they would win the tournament on home soil would have placed undue pressure on a team already in transition from Christine Sinclair’s personal playground to a roster with a diverse attack.

Do they have enough to get by the Brits? A review of the tape says, definitively, nope. In their round of 16 game against #11 Norway, England scored two world class goals, one a text book corner kick, and the other a booming right foot to the top corner after a series of three quality one-touch passes. They’re such an exciting squad that folks on British TV seem to be having a rather physical response. (Reminder: punctuation is important.)

Canada, on the other hand, as scored just three goals in the entire tournament. Sinclair put away a late PK to beat the Chinese in the World Cup-opening game, Ashley Lawrence finished a broken play against the Netherlands, and Josée Belanger took advantage of a scrambly cross late in the Switzerland game to boot the ball home from 13 yards.

The teams actually match up fairly well. Canada plays an aggressive style, low on finesse but high on passion and power. They like to attack, and feel good trying to make plays on the run. Look for Belanger and Lawrence to run straight at the opposition defense, looking for that extra step, and pressuring missteps whenever possible. England has a more traditional, patient approach — they know this game inside and out, and prefer set plays to track meets. Watch for them to slow the play down when they possess the ball; they’ll work triangles to their advantage, and try to run behind stationary defenders.

Prediction: This game goes to penalties, tied 1-1 after regulation. Kicks are a lottery, so who’s to say who wins at that point? *shrug* Canada on PKs.

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Comma’n You Girls!

Not too long ago, an article appeared on the beloved Pucked in the Head spotlighting a rather odd request made by the Seattle Sounders. Jason, being the man that he is, took it upon himself to broadcast the faux pas to the masses, not because he wanted to embarrass the Sounders and their supporters, but because it was the right thing to do.

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Must have been served meatloaf.

Surely this was merely an oversight on the Sounders’ marketing and design teams’ parts, and really, who can blame them? Most of us here in North America speak English and Seattle happens to be located approximately 2469.6 miles from the birthplace of the language. That’s a lot of space in which to lose a comma or two during transport. It happens.

But there’s no excuse for the fabricators of this little gem:

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PUNCTUATION OPTIONAL!

With England set to take on our beloved Canadians in the quarter-finals at the Women’s World Cup, the cast of the “Bend it like Beckham” musical decided to counsel us to “Come on [their] girls.” My favourite part of the whole thing is the exclamation point, suggesting their message isn’t merely a prompting, but rather a full-fledged directive with authority.

They probably would have been better off sending their well wishes via show tune and skipping the whole “writing” thing altogether.