1. Game 3 of the Western Conference Final went tonight at the HP Pavilion in San Jose, and saw the Sharks climb back into the series with a 4-3 win over the Canucks. The score was flattering to the visitors, as the Sharks absolutely DOMINATED through 2 periods. The Canucks couldn’t string two passes together. They were outhustled, outworked, spent an entire period in the penalty box, managed only a couple of grade ‘A’ 5-on-5 scoring chances – which Antii Niemi was more than equal to – and generally deserved a much more lopsided defeat. Continue reading 20 May 2011 – Penalties, More Penalties, and The Teal Men?→
1. With a combined 2 goals and 5 points in game two, it’s official. The twins have arrived in the Western Conference final.
First of all, we now have a clearer idea what the hell Ben Eager was thinking as he took penalty after penalty after penalty in the third period as the Canucks lit the Sharks up for four power play goals. There are just two questions that come to mind:
Why the hell didn’t he just save us the trouble and call the ref’s mother a whore to get a 10-minute misconduct? He still gets the box time but doesn’t leave his team shorthanded for pretty much the entire period.
Why do the jerks always get the girl? Showing the Sedins, or Kevin Bieksa, or Chris Higgins your nipply bits would have made sense, mystery girl. But Ben Eager? He’s a drooling imbecile at the best of times – on Wednesday he was eye poppingly daft. Hardly deserving of the teat show. Continue reading 19 May 2011 – The Twins, the Twins, and Some Old-Time Hockey→
1. The Vancouver Canucks take an impressive 2-0 lead in the Western Conference final. Not impressive because they’re only two wins away from the third Cup final in team history, but impressive because of the way they’ve harpooned the Sharks late in both games. Both Vancouver and San Jose are big, imposing teams with deep rosters. The Canucks can keep those wheels moving at top speed for three full periods – the Sharks just can’t keep up that pace for two reasons. One: Ryan Kesler outskates Joe Thornton any night of the week. Two: Vancouver’s defense corps, from D-man #1 through D-man #6, is just too good at jumping into the play. Dan Boyle can’t do it all himself; the constant Canuck transition game just plain tires the Sharks out.You’ve gotta play a full 60 minutes, boys. Continue reading 18 May 2011 – Red Lights, Teenagers and Gordie Howe Hat Tricks→
1. You wonder why the Vancouver – Nashville series was such a snooze? Not only do the Predators employ a stifling defensive game plan, it wasn’t until the sixth game that the two teams showed any kind of passion on the ice. By contrast, the Western Conference final started with both Joe Thornton and Ryan Kesler getting tossed from the opening freaking faceoff. These aren’t goons orchestrating a fight because they have no skills to back up the trash talk. These are hockey’s best, headbutting and jousting before the series even starts. Are you kidding me? Bring. It. On. This really is what we live for. Continue reading 15 May 2011 – Linesmen, the Top Line, and the Incredible Invisible Defenseman→
1. By dispatching the Nashville Predators in six games, the Vancouver Canucks earned a berth in the Western Conference final. (By not doing it in five games, they royally screwed my bracket pool at work. I’m not bitter. Shut up.) It is the Canucks’ third trip to the final four in their forty-year history. In both 1982 and 1994, they advanced to the Stanley Cup final, giving them a 100% efficiency rating in conference final series. How many conference finals have you won, San Jose? Huh? Huh? Yeah, none. That’s what I thought. Sharks, beware: the Canucks have history on their side. Continue reading 13 May 2011 – Of Sharks, Streaks and the Six Million Dollar Man→
The Canucks have no decent nicknames at the moment, unless you count Sami Salo’s Balls of Steel. With guests Kennedy Goodkey and Rob Tarzwell, we look back over the forty years of team history to discuss the best nicknames in Vancouver Canucks history. Here’s part one.
Intro by the Orchid Highway
Top Seven Canuck Nicknames of All Time, Part I
#7 – “The Russian Rocket”
#6 – “Bones”
#5 – “Spider”
#4 – “Cowan the Bra-barian”
Outro by the Orchid Highway
Thanks for listening
Neener neener neener
Guests
Kennedy Goodkey
Centre
Shoots right
Chirpy, with bad knees, but tends to score big goals in the playoffs.
Kennedy is an actor, writer and film-maker in Vancouver, BC. You can check out his YouTube series Best Picture, or his serialized novel Necropolis, or see his film The Beast of Bottomless Lake on Super Channel in Canada. Kennedy grew up watching the Canucks, but admits not getting a true handle on just how deep the roots were till he hit university. Ironically, that’s about the time the Canucks had a decent team for the first time.
Rob Tarzwell
Defense
Shoots right
5’4″
140 lbs
Dig, dig, dig. Check like you won’t survive. Inadvertently screen the goalie as often as possible.
Dr. Rob Tarzwell is a Vancouver psychiatrist with a second specialty in nuclear medicine. His clinical interests include the use of radiotracers to study blood flow, glucose utilization, and neuroreceptors in brain disease and psychiatric disorders. Speaking of psychiatric disorders, Dr Rob has been a fan of the Canucks since 1988, when Gretzky got traded to the Kings. He narrowly escaped the 1994 game 7 riots downtown Vancouver, and still sometimes wakes up in cold sweat to the sound of a ringing post.
1. The Vancouver Canucks have made the Conference Finals for the first time since 1994, and just the third time in their 40-year history. The first time they were on the shoulders of King Richard Brodeur – the second time, it was Captain Kirk McLean who got them to the third round. This time they sit atop the broad shoulders of Ryan Kesler. Nickname him as you will, just don’t call him Clark. He hates that. Continue reading 9 May 2011 – Ryan Needs-a-Nickname Kesler, Praise the Ward, and Beer Girls→
1 – The Canucks had a chance to close out the Nashville Predators this evening at home. They failed. For the second time in these playoffs, Vancouver has put themselves in a position to close out a series early and then failed to get the job done. The Canucks are now a woeful 1-4 in games where they can send their opponent packing. For a team that’s shown an exquisite ability to get the key goal and the key win all season, that simply won’t cut the mustard. Continue reading 7 May 2011 – Killer Instinct, Chuck Kesler and Fandom→
1.The Vancouver Canucks took a 3-1 lead in their second round series against the Nashville Predators Thursday night. In doing so, they accomplished a seventh playoff win – a feat they haven’t been able to do since 2003, when they lost the second round to the Minnesota Wild in seven games. Seven down, nine to go for the big prize, of course, but one more win puts them in the Conference Final for the first time since 1994. Continue reading 6 May 2011 – Empty Netters, Love-ins and the Schneid→
1. Yesterday, Broad Street’s biggest bully, Chris Pronger, sat for the seventh time in this playoff. Hockey players are renowned for attempting to play through just about anything, as evidenced by Darryl Boyce only missing one regular season game when he nearly amputated his own nose, Mario Lemieux famously having teammates tie his skate laces before scoring four points during a Pittsburgh Stanley Cup run, or Manny “One-Eye” Malhotra’s recent experimentation with echolocation. Chris Pronger’s absence has been a far bigger deal in this series than any menage-a-trois in the Philly crease. The B’s just aren’t scared to go to the slot – with him in the lineup, that fear is always there. For a guy like Prongs to sit while his team goes down three-bagel, he’s got to be pretty much paralyzed from the chest down. Continue reading 5 May 2011 – Rip Van Roloson, 2nd Base, and the pros & cons of echolocation→
1. Game 3 of the Western Conference Final went tonight at the HP Pavilion in San Jose, and saw the Sharks climb back into the series with a 4-3 win over the Canucks. The score was flattering to the visitors, as the Sharks absolutely DOMINATED through 2 periods. The Canucks couldn’t string two passes together. They were outhustled, outworked, spent an entire period in the penalty box, managed only a couple of grade ‘A’ 5-on-5 scoring chances – which Antii Niemi was more than equal to – and generally deserved a much more lopsided defeat. Continue reading 20 May 2011 – Penalties, More Penalties, and The Teal Men? 
Kennedy Goodkey
Rob Tarzwell
1. The Vancouver Canucks have made the Conference Finals for the first time since 1994, and just the third time in their 40-year history. The first time they were on the shoulders of King Richard Brodeur – the second time, it was Captain Kirk McLean who got them to the third round. This time they sit atop the broad shoulders of Ryan Kesler. Nickname him as you will, just don’t call him Clark. He hates that. 
