Seven Things – 13 May 2011
1. By dispatching the Nashville Predators in six games, the Vancouver Canucks earned a berth in the Western Conference final. (By not doing it in five games, they royally screwed my bracket pool at work. I’m not bitter. Shut up.) It is the Canucks’ third trip to the final four in their forty-year history. In both 1982 and 1994, they advanced to the Stanley Cup final, giving them a 100% efficiency rating in conference final series. How many conference finals have you won, San Jose? Huh? Huh? Yeah, none. That’s what I thought. Sharks, beware: the Canucks have history on their side.
2. Joe Thornton is slowly but surely shedding his reputation as a playoff disappearing act. He’s got 11 points in 13 games so far, and was a threat at both ends of the ice in San Jose’s game seven win over the Wings on Thursday night.
That’s just on the scoreboard. Thornton was 60% in the faceoff circle on the night, which is just 0.7% lower than his playoff average – dare I tell you that’s 7% better in the post-season than Vancouver’s faceoff dot workhorse, Ryan Kesler? SuperKes may have dominated opposition forwards during the regular season, but he may have his work cut out for him against the likes of Thornton. Both of these guys have carried their teams when the rest of the roster seems to have trouble with longtime high expections and just as longtime failure thereunder. I’m not saying Vancouver can’t deal with him, but gone are the days when Thornton becomes a playoff wallflower. Canucks, beware: Jumbo Joe is learning to rock the big game.
3. Patrick Marleau scored the series clinching goal against the Red Wings during the third period of game seven, answering the many criticisms that he has never been able to bring it in the playoffs. Forget that it was his first point of the series – first pointin these seven games, mind you – and throw out the fact that it was just a tap in from the side of the net when Dan Boyle and Devon Setoguchi did all the work. Hell, trash the idea that he was dismal in the faceoff circle all night and looked like a floater until that puck went into that net. Ignore the fact that Marleau has played in 17 games 6 and 7, with less than spectacular results:
- Number of points Marleau scored in the first 16 of those crucial late-series contests: one. Yes, one.
- Number of points Marleau scored in the first period of their second round game seven win over the Detroit Red Wings: one.
That he’s been limited to those two points in 17 of the franchise’s biggest games led to him being stripped of the team captaincy, and very nearly to him being traded for a few tickets for the San Jose Veterans’ Club Meat Draw. Whatever. Do we really want to dwell on former teammate and outspoken panel junkie Jeremy Roenick calling him “gutless” for not bringing his A game to the rink in the playoffs? Not any more. Once he scored that gimme, Marleau. Woke. Up. In the last five minutes of the game, the ex-Sharks captain made three huge defensive plays to prevent the Wings from tying up yet another game late in yet another third period. Canucks, beware: maybe, just maybe, Patrick Marleau will have a glimmer in his eye for round number three.
4. It’s a good thing the Philadelphia Flyers were knocked out of the playoffs by the Bruins all quick-like, because team trainers need the concourse area at Wells Fargo Center to set up a triage. Six players are already slated for off-season surgery: Chris Pronger (back), Mike Richards (wrist), Michael Leighton (hip), Blair Betts (finger), Andrej Meszaros (wrist), and Kris Versteeg (abdomen). Of those evaluated, Scott Hartnell and Jeff Carter were the only ones to escape the knife – but even those two are likely to see some serious rehab on their respective hip problems this summer. Let’s not forget to include Brian Boucher’s obvious need for a craniotomy. (Hell, get that netminder a cranectomy if it helps him perform just once in the playoffs the way he does in the regular season.) Flyer fans, beware: the team has expressed interest in signing Mr Balls of Steel himself in the off-season. “Sami Salo offers many years of experience in the recovery room – dammit! – experience in the locker room,” said Philadelphia GM Paul Holmgren. “He’ll give depth to the medical staff – er – I should say, depth to the defensive corps. His vision of ice, and how to apply it to injuries – crap! – I mean, how to manage pain meds – drat! – can we do this interview later?”
(Article continued after the following sports-related ad content, which you really ought to read.)
Vancouver-based fanzoo offers signed memorabilia for reasonable prices. You know, if you’re into that kind of thing. Howzabout a signed, framed Alex Burrows 8×10 for under two hundred bucks? Give ’em a looksee. And if you pull out the plastic, tell ’em Pucked in the Head sentcha.
(Okay, now back to your regularly scheduled chicanery.)
5. Hockey fans at San Jose’s HP Pavilion and Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena seem like a group I’d like to party with. Let’s go beyond the fact that Tennessee women in the crowd are, um, as talented a group of gals as you’d ever see – and we all know what they say about California girls – the atmosphere and mood of those buildings have been as electric as any in more traditional markets. This despite the fact that the Preds have never made it past the first round and lack any true superstars, and the Sharks are perennial chokers come playoff time. Both of these cities put on a first class show, and deserve every stitch of success their team puts on the ice in front of them. Nashville and San Jose, beware: Pucked in the Head now has both of your cities on their list for future hockey road trips.
6. The City of Glendale has voted to pay the NHL another $25 million for the Phoenix Coyotes to spend one more season in the desert. This means the average citizen, most of whom couldn’t care less if the team stays or leaves, is on the hook for $10 a month for the duration of the contract. These are people who won’t buy $10 tickets to games when a hot dog and bottomless drink are included. Most players, coaches, GMs and media admit that this hockey-team-in-the-desert experiment has been a massive financial flop. They want Phoenix to stay in the league, however, to justify expensing the game-and-golf trips that just about every visiting team try to work into their season schedule. Phoenix residents beware: Pucked in the Head plans to golf near your house sometime during the 2011-12 season. We recommend having a windshield replacement guy on retainer.
7. Manny Malhotra has resumed skating. Subsequently, Vancouver hockey fans have been seen tweeting frantically, dancing in the streets, and dangling private parts out of moving cars. Walls are coming down, regimes are being overthrown, and organs are being donated, all in the name of the skater’s first steps of rehab after a season-ending eye injury gave him a respite of dark shades and surgical scrubs. Tales of Manny’s prowess in the faceoff circle are embiggening with each passing day – it is said that he once slayed three dragons (and bedded the damsels they had distressed) with a single defensive zone draw. Opponents beware: we can rebuild him. We have the technology.
This guy signed a jersey. We’re raffling it off for charity. Buy a ticket, will ya?