Jersey: Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Only if ye auld acquaintance is wearing this abomination by the Adirondack Phantoms.

Years worn: 2012, New Year’s Eve game only.

Reaction: Long silences while people everywhere examined this twitpic of Zack FitzGerald’s shirt for signs of Photoshop tampering.

Most famous players to wear it: Probably Brayden Schenn, who was also the one to post the picture to twitter.

Why it’s great: The jerseys were a one-shot deal that were auctioned off after the game in support of a local transition house that assists homeless teenagers. Kudos for the community involvement, Phantoms organization. Grudging respect for the cufflinks in the shape of your logo. And maybe the pinstripes. Maybe.

Why it’s garbage:  It’s ORANGE! You’re wearing an ORANGE TUXEDO! You have black  right in your logo! You could have gone black-tie formal and done the same damn thing without looking like you pulled a design out of the Don Cherry reject pile. And while I’m fixing this design for you, if you’re going to shrink the logo anyways, put it on the breast of the jacket so it doesn’t look like a mouth. The first time I saw this thing I thought the guy with the bow-tie face was smiling at me and it’s still creeping me the hell out!

Haiku to describe Chris’s feelings whenever he sees this jersey:
We’ll take a cup of
Kindness yet, but not before
You throw that shirt out.

Other jerseys we can’t believe somebody approved:
New York Islanders third jersey (rumoured), 2012
Seattle Sounders third jersey, 2012
Vancouver Canucks alternate jersey, 1995-1997
EHC Wolfsburg Halloween jersey, 2012