Tag Archives: @arbuoutthere

Articles, Soccer

Ode to the 2015 Whitecaps, by Russell Arbuthnot

Tim Parker, the ginger muse of soccer poet Russell Arbuthnot. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Tim Parker, the ginger muse of soccer poet Russell Arbuthnot. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

As we count down the minutes to the Vancouver Whitecaps first-ever home playoff date — the back end of a home-and-home tie versus the dirty, rotten, stinkin’, bearded Portland Timbers that starts tomorrow — poet in residence Russell Arbuthnot offers up his quill to the soccer gods with the six stanzas below. We at Pucked in the Head wholly endorse the product of Russell’s sleepless enthusiasm, but claim no responsibility for questionable grammar, rhyme scheme or metre therein.

End of Season
by Russell Arbuthnot

With the regular season laid down to rest
And with the playoffs drawing ever near
The Whitecaps found themselves among the league’s best
Reflecting on one helluva year

We waved goodbye to the Cascadia Cup
And welcomed in that of the Voyageurs
Coach Robbo patch-worked his CONCACAF lineups
Delicately navigating fixtures

Displaced in June by a Worldly tournament
Meant the men wearing Whitecaps blue and white
Lived in hotels for what seemed like permanent
But they fared quite well in the six-week fight

A rookie named Parker came out of the blue
And from Waston an MVP season
Ousted and Techera were essential too
Expectations mounting, with good reason

Injuries mounted, the infirmary filled
With bumbles and stumbles down the homestretch
Hope and belief grew increasingly chilled
The faithful grew restless, began to kvetch

The franchise regrouped, dispatched the Dynamo
Earned a bye straight to the semifinals
One more week to patch up Captain Pedro
And a chance to knock off their fiercest rivals

Articles, Soccer

Summertime & The Winning’s Easy

Whitecaps Wednesday

The Whitecaps’ goal parade continued on Saturday as they poured in four against Western Conference foes Real Salt Lake. The four-spot gives them ten goals for over their last three games while only surrendering a single goal against in the same time frame.

It was another victory in a game that would have likely offered up a serving of humble pie in years past – Caps fans have become accustomed to never taking “guaranteed win night” for granted much like Dennis Skulsky and the BC Lions – bringing about the notion (for me anyways) that this team is exceeding expectations.

Coach Carl Robinson chants along with the Curva Collective,:"Four goals is not enough, four is not enough!" Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Coach Carl Robinson chants along with the Curva Collective: “Four goals is not enough, four is not enough!” Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

For certain this team has suffered some authentic disappointment season (see June 3, May 23), but on the whole, the squad has taken steps towards becoming the “professional team” all franchises aspire to be. That is, winning games you should and managing to earn results in many that you shouldn’t.

But is this what we had envisioned for the 2015 Whitecaps coming into the MLS season? Let us spew a few words about that.

Continue reading Summertime & The Winning’s Easy →

Articles, Podcast, Soccer

Episode 65: Whitecaps atop the MLS table

Russell and Jason, awash in the euphoria of another Whitecaps home win, record under the dome at BC Place.

• Steve Ewen bumper
• Russell was conceived to A Flock of Seagulls
• The Whitecaps should beat the Union
• Robbo concedes his side should have won this game
• This is why Edmonton can’t have nice things
• Pedro had himself a tidy little game
• David Ousted: save of the week?
• Whitecaps are too deep to lose to Edmonton
• Darren Mattocks inspires our musical selection
• Pedro Morales — You’re Welcome!

Darren Mattocks scores on the Philadelphia Union. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Darren Mattocks scores an impressively athletic goal against the Philadelphia Union to cap off a 3-0 Whitecaps win at BC Place. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

2014-15 Season, Articles, Hockey, Podcast

Episode 62: A little Help! for the Sedins

A tough week for Vancouver sports fans, as the Canucks, Whitecaps and Stealth all lose on home turf. Is there light at the end of the rainy, oil-slicked tunnel?

• Introduction
• Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
• Vancouver Canucks: plosion guards extraordinaires
• Russell sucks at basketball brackets
• The Canucks outperformed expectations
• The Flames deserved the win
• Stats don’t apply to the Calgary Flames
• Call-in shows feature some… interesting people
• Breaking: Willie Desjardins is 114 years old
• Don’t bring a nativity scene onto the ice
• If you don’t like the twins, you’re a bad person
• People still talk trash about Luongo
• The Sediins & Bobby Lu will be in the Hall of Fame
• Russell: Break up the Sedins
• Vrbata-Bonino-Higgins: a great third line
• Refrain: The twins need help
• Help! by the Beatles

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Articles, Soccer

Sports’ Biggest Fallacy

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Whitecaps Wednesday

A win is a win is a win. Except when it isn’t.

“Now hold on a second, Russell! That doesn’t make any sense! How can a win not be a win?” Lend me your attention for a moment fine reader and I’ll be happy to explain.

After three months of inactivity, I've got the okay to pull the Rackets & Runners shirt (and the cheesy running selfies) out of mothballs.
Pucked in the Head’s fearless leader Jason Kurylo is seen here trying to outrun logic and reason. If you look closely, you can spot his overactive moistical gland in full production.

On March 14, we saw the Vancouver Whitecaps escape Toyota Park with a 1-0 result over the Chicago Fire. I watched this game while a wave of frustration bombarded me with each squandered scoring opportunity.

Sure, the Whitecaps notched their first triumph of the infantile MLS season this weekend. I’d suggest that many of you were in fact quite happy to see the Whitecaps find the victory in Chicago on Saturday. It’s not out of the question that you were placated by the fact that the Whitecaps FC had never scored a goal at Toyota Park. And many of you probably defaulted to using the aforementioned “a win is a win” cliché as some type of reasoning for arriving at your satisfaction in seeing the Caps win. (I’m looking at YOU, Kurylo).

Continue reading Sports’ Biggest Fallacy →

Articles, Soccer

Whitecaps Wednesday – A Rennie Saved Is A Rennie Earned

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Whitecaps WednesdayThere has been a lot of banter over the last few weeks regarding Martin Rennie and his uncertain future here in Vancouver. I thought I’d weigh in with my thoughts on the situation and why Martin Rennie should stay, for now.

He was widely regarded as a saviour for the club when it was revealed he would be taking over for Tom Soehn to start the 2012 campaign. His signing was seen as a coup for Bob Lenarduzzi and the front office – bringing in a young, highly regarded coach to grow with the expansion MLS franchise.

Once the players are on the pitch, Whitecaps FC bench boss Martin Rennie can only stand at the sidelines and watch his MLS future unfold, just like the rest of us. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Once the players are on the pitch, Whitecaps FC bench boss Martin Rennie can only stand at the sidelines and watch his MLS future unfold, just like the rest of us. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Continue reading Whitecaps Wednesday – A Rennie Saved Is A Rennie Earned →

Soccer

Rockland Wonderland – A Leather Love Story

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Whitecaps Wednesday

When we last heard from Kenny Miller’s boot (hereafter known as Max Webster), he was boarding a flight to Sicily. On his lace was the defiantly beautiful and curvaceous ball (we’ll call her Alana) he slotted into the net back on June 16th in a game versus the New England Revolution. See here for the back story.

Their luggage included a 40 oz. bottle of Barbados’ finest rum, a pump and needle for when the love-life gets a little ‘flat’, a disk of shoe polish and small slip of AstroTurf on which to rest their weary studs and patches. All told, it had been a marvelous week spent drinking lager and ale and sipping margaritas beneath the patio lanterns at Hacienda Del Pancho’s cabin #14.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Beautiful leather heart photo courtesy of http://www.janehornsby.com

It was such a marvelous week in fact, that at the behest of his fine lady, Max Webster booked a five-night stay in Sicily to lengthen the dream honeymoon come true. The dream, however, was about to become a nightmare.

Continue reading Rockland Wonderland – A Leather Love Story →

Articles, Soccer

Caps shake the Quakes

As is his wont, our man Russell chimes in with his thoughts for Whitecaps Wednesday. Give him a read. Give him your thoughts. Whatever you do, give him a round of applause.

by Russell Arbuthnot

Vancouver, B.C. – The boys in white and blue were back in the friendly confines of BC Place stadium after earning a draw versus the Portland TImbers last weekend. With only a single blemish on the Caps home record (8-1-3), the Bell pitch has been an important ally. This week the visitors were the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ San Jose Earthquakes, who trailed our boys by just three points in the Western Conference standings.

Whitecaps FC have had many reasons to celebrate on the Bell Pitch at BC Place this season — they've lost just one game so far, thanks to a stellar 1-2 punch up front of Kenny Miller (centre) and Camilo da Silva Sanvezzo. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Whitecaps FC have had many reasons to celebrate on the Bell Pitch at BC Place this season — they’ve lost just one game so far, thanks to a stellar 1-2 punch up front of Kenny Miller (centre) and Camilo da Silva Sanvezzo. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

More, including highlights, after the break.

Continue reading Caps shake the Quakes →

Articles, Soccer

Whitecaps Wednesday: Marques Midfield Madness has to stop

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The Vancouver Whitecaps FC roster has an exciting mix of savvy veterans in addition to flashy rookies like Eric Hurtado here. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
The Vancouver Whitecaps FC roster has an exciting mix of savvy veterans in addition to flashy rookies like Eric Hurtado here. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

It’s Whitecaps Wednesday, which means we at Pucked in the Head are out and about in our Vancouver soccer kits, hoisting pints and chanting in pubs all day long. As such, Chris and I don’t have time to do much writing and picturing for you. Kudos to Russell Arbuthnot (@arbuoutthere), then,  for filing this literate, epithet-heavy story after Whitecaps FC finally lose a home match, 1–0 to the Philadelphia Union.

VANCOUVER, B.C. – When healthy, Vancouver Whitecaps FC boasts one of the most potent offensive lineups in MLS soccer. Camilo “Mean Muggin’” Sanvezzo currently leads the league with 14 goals, while fellow striker Kenny “The Mauler” Miller sits in a tie for seventh with six markers. Russell “Dat Good Canadian Kid” Teibert is tied for 3rd in assists with seven, despite having played in just 12 games thus far.  As a team, the Caps rank 2nd in goals with 33 and have racked up 29 assists this year, good enough for 4th overall.

Even casual fans who aren’t much for the numbers notice the Whitecaps offensive style. Between Miller, Camillo, Teibert and Gershon Koffie and Darren Mattocks, Vancouver has breathtaking speed up front. They’re regularly running onto balls behind opposition defenders. Keepers have trouble gauging that kind of pace coming at them on a regular basis, forcing them to guess one way or the other. Whoosh. There’s Mattocks chipping the ball over a cheating keeper’s head in a win over Seattle. Boom. There’s Camillo burying one in the corner when the Chicago keeper gets caught too deep in his net.

With blazing speed and a nose for the net, Camilo da Silva Sanvezzo regularly finds himself one-on-one with opposing goaltenders. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
With blazing speed and a nose for the net, Camilo da Silva Sanvezzo regularly finds himself one-on-one with opposing goaltenders. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

More after the jump.

Continue reading Whitecaps Wednesday: Marques Midfield Madness has to stop →