If there’s one thing I hate about soccer, it’s diving. It’s rampant at pretty much all levels of the game, and the MLS is no different. Sadly, faking injury is not only a major part of the FC Dallas game plan, it seems to frickin’ work. Saturday’s referee crew bought into FC Dallas’s every whimper, whinge and writhe, handing the visitors free kicks and set pieces galore, and allowing lengthy delays in game play.

Dallas players went down like red-shirted ensigns on Star Trek. They stayed down like my two-year-old daughter, bawling because they fell down went boom. Come on, you wailing tart — you’re a professional freaking athlete, in prime physical condition. Are you seriously telling me your tummy wummy hurtsy wurtsies because the bad man in the brown jersey bumped into you? Get up, you whining sack of sheisse, and play the game.
More after the break.