1) The Vancouver Canucks have started their season with a loss. Please refer to the last three years’ opening week articles about how this team will be just fine, and that we shouldn’t judge them based on the first ten games of the season.
2) Inside info from someone in the Abbotsford Heat organization (someone who doesn’t blow smoke unnecessarily): “This team has more talent, more passion and more speed than last year’s team. It’s going to be an exciting year in Abbotsford.” Listen to Heat games live on CIVL Radio or at 101.7 when you’re out in the valley. Schedule here.
Samira Noor, seen here at Five Hole for Food’s Vancouver finale, offers up her thoughts on the Canucks Prospects Scrimmage that took place a couple of Thursdays back. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
This month has been a remarkable one round these parts — after a couple of years of poor-to-middling weather, we’ve quite literally basked in a glorious summer so far this year. YVR didn’t have a single drop of rain in the month of July, which made the trek to Rogers Arena for the 2013 Canucks Prospects Scrimmage a particularly odd way to spend a Thursday afternoon. Still, thousands upon thousands of people did it, including Samira Noor (@ChaoticAppeal on the mighty Twitter), who filed this piece with Pucked in the Head. Be kind, folks. Jordan Subban broke her heart, dammit.
Prospector Samira Noor, reporting for duty
Without hesitation I willingly gave up the sunshine to sit in that cold, familiar arena for a small dose of summer hockey. Prospects — young players drafted and/or signed by the Vancouver Canucks — hit the ice to a hesitant cheer from a crowd, and immediately the whispers began.
“Who is [insert player number]?”
“His name is what? Why have I never heard of him before?”
“Where is Bo Horvat? I’m only here to see him.”
The state of confusion was shortlived, as everyone (including myself) trundled out their phones to pull up a roster list. Even then, a sense of familiarity sunk in with only a handful of players. Nicklas Jensen, 2011 Canucks draft pick and mini Great Dane, was the easiest to spot. His competitive glare made the scrimmage feel like a regular season game, and his ability to shuffle the puck through defensemen woke up the overly polite crowd.
Frankie Corrado quickly became another favourite, spending every free moment he had near the boards interacting with folks looking his way. A wink or two, a few cheeky grins, a couple of pucks flipped over the glass. Soon enough, he had people making signs for him on their iPads and pressing them against the glass competing for even a second of his attention. It wasn’t difficult. This guy was drinking it up.
This is not Ilya Kovalchuk playing table hockey, but we know if the VTHE were happening in Russia, he would gladly do it . You can register here to partake of the table hockey — the tournament starts at 1pm on September 21 and it’ll be a ton of fun! Until then, listen to our podcast, won’t you?
Here’s episode 53 of the Pucked in the Head podcast, in which Chris admits to having “pale delicate skin that blisters easily” but makes up for it by calling Jason out on several vocabulary errors. Oh, and we also talk hockey.
As many of you have observed, Chris and I don’t have much of a track record when it comes to laying down podcast tracks. Thus, when we do manage to throw one together it’s a bloody miracle of the first order. We hope you enjoy!
• Intro
• Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
• WTF is a ‘Metropolitan Division’?
• Do you know Conn Smythe’s full name?
• Wherefore art thou Ilya?
• Time to wrap it up
• Time for a Change by the Orchid Highway
• Thanks for Listening
Bo Horvat was chosen 9th overall by the Vancouver Canucks after the team traded Cory Schneider to the New Jersey Devils. Photo courtesy of CHL Images.
Twitter servers took a severe beating Sunday afternoon, as Mike Gillis moved fan favourite goaltender Cory Schneider to the New Jersey Devils for the ninth overall pick in the 2013 NHL Entry Draft.
As a bazillion people who have never watched a single junior game vented their anger in 140 characters or less, the Canucks marched onstage to selected Bo Horvat. The London Knights forward inevitably known as BoHo by Vancouver fans is probably best known as the guy who tapped home an outlandish between-the-legs pass from Max Domi at this year’s Memorial Cup. If you haven’t seen it yet, shame on you. Watch it below.
Notice it’s FINAL. Singular. So yeah, stop saying FINALS with an ‘s’ already. Logo stolen without shame from the interweb.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch the Boston Bruins and their road show of pulverizing ogres attack the fleet-footed wood elves that are the Chicago Blackhawks.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch the NHL showcase some of the shakiest referees to appear in playoff history.
Because it’s the Cup, I will scratch my head wondering how in hell the Hawks and Bs had never met in a final before now.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Glen Healy and PJ Stock make unmitigated fools of themselves using only their words.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch countless people scream blue murder about whatever comes out of Don Cherry’s mouth.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Tukka Rask continue his impressive climb out of Tim Thomas’ borderline racist, definitely bizarre shadow.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Corey Crawford continue his impressive climb out of Antti Niemi’s I-can’t-make-an-adjectival-joke-here-because-I-still-feel-like-“Antti-who?” shadow.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Marian Hossa play like a frickin’ beast.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Zdeno Chara play as a frickin’ beast.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Jaromir Jagr make his first Stanley Cup Final appearance in 21 years.
You mean he is playing this year? Coulda fooled me. Photo pilfered from the interweb.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Dave Bolland — oh wait, no I won’t, because he pulled a disappearing act this post-season.
Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Jonathan Toews attempt to become just the second player, after Wayne Gretzky, to captain two championship teams before turning 25. Yes, Captain Serious was less than four years old the last time Jagr hit the NHL final round.
Because it’s the Cup, I will applaud these two teams even though they are roundly despised by pretty much every hockey fan in Vancouver.
Because it’s the Cup, I will hope and pray that the Hawks manage to score it up against the Bruins, because we as fans desperately need fast, creative hockey — not plodding, grind-it-out 1-0 yawnfests.
Because it’s the Cup, I will predict that the series winner will be scored by Brian Bickell in game 7 at the United Center.
Hear the gnashing of teeth. See the flailing of arms. Feel the tension and taste the tears, because playoff hockey is here.
After game one of the Senators-Canadiens series, the front page of the Ottawa Sun featured a goretastic image of Lars Eller leaking blood all over ice at the Montreal Forum. We at Pucked in the Head would be shocked if this weren’t one of the few newspapers that still publishes Sunshine Girl pics on a regular basis.
Mere days into the NHL’s first round, and we’ve already seen blowouts — the Sidless Penguins handed John Tavares every ass on the New York Islander roster in game one. We’ve been treated to overtime gaffes — I’m looking at you, Jonathan Quick, you bizarre, talented bastard, you. Controversy: Eric Gryba got an unwarranted two-game suspension after Lars Eller’s nose hit the ice. Sadly, Brendan Shanahan’s ruling — see the video below — was only half as atrocious as the Ottawa Sun’s front page coverage of the incident. (Even Sun sports journalist Bruce Garrioch was embarrassed, going to lengths to explain that editors, not writers, choose the pictures and headlines.) And out west, Roberto Luongo played his face off in a surprise start for the listless Vancouver Canucks. No one seems to know what ails the goaltender regent, Corey Schneider, but who mans the crease will only be a talking point if Vancouver manages more than a goal a game against the Sharks.
Perhaps the most impressive story so far this playoff actually stretches beyond the boundaries of the NHL. On the very day that the Toronto Maple Leafs played their first playoff game in nearly a decade, the Leafs, Toronto Blue Jays and Toronto FC were collectively outscored 20-2 by the Boston Bruins, Boston Red Sox and Montreal Impact respectively. It seems nothing can go right in Hogtown these days — Rob Ford is still the mayor, for goodness’ sake.
Okay, okay: politics notwithstanding, in a city that proclaims itself the Centre of the Universe, they sure as shootin’ aren’t doing much to impress in the world of sports. Until the Argonauts take the field to defend their Grey Cup title later this summer, the only thing T-dot has to cheer for is the Marlies. The Baby Leafs swept the Rochester Americans in the AHL Calder Cup playoffs, and await the winners of the other three Western Conference quarterfinals before second round reseeding. Go (baby) Leafs go, I suppose.
Here’s ol’ Shanny’s ruling, in which he mysteriously states that Gryba made Eller’s head the principal point of contact. (Compare with PK Subban’s hit on Chris Neil earlier in the game — in which red-jerseyed shoulder indeed smucks upon white-helmeted head — as giffed by @Eyeonhockey.)
PK Subban launches his shoulder into Chris Neil’s head early in game one of the Habs-Sens series, a case of no blood, no foul for the NHL. Image grabbed from @eyeonhockey.
Ever wanted the ear of an NHL bench staffer? This lucky fan got the next best thing, as Boston Bruins assistant coach Geoff Ward emptied his ear canal into his beer glass. The only consolation is that it was just shitty arena beer, anyway.
Yet one more reason you shouldn’t pay good money to sit in the obstructed-view-slash-earpiece-splash-zone section directly behind the Boston Bruins bench.
In an age of hyper marketing, intense competition and tightly controlled PR, it’s amazing that truly horrible ideas can still make it past the brainstorming stage. Whether it’s the nightmare of design by committee or just a conflagration of mediocre talents pulling the wool over the eyes of out of touch rich CEOs, we occasionally see awful designs rolled out in an underwhelming explosion of anticlimax. Today, we analyze the most recent NHL obscenity with the introduction of a new Seven Things series: Somebody Approved This.
Note: This fugly spittoon shirt was originally leaked — or is that leaked upon? — as a proposed third jersey in 2011-12. We wrote it up then as the ugliest thing to come out of Long Island, and remember these clowns wore the teal and orange fishermen a while back. Sadly the lockout didn’t allow Charles Wang and his wandering minstrels of woe quite enough time to rejig the damned thing. Consequently, Isles fans are being forced to watch not only a crappy team, but a crappy team in disgusting uniforms.
Reaction: Almost unanimously positive. People like them some retro jerseys.
Most famous players to wear it: Fred “Cyclone” Taylor.
Why it’s great: The colour scheme is unique, I guess. I can’t remember anyone else wearing maroon and cream since the Millionaires folded. Having a colour scheme that nobody else thought would be a good idea is a positive, right?
Why it’s garbage: It looks like someone tried to TP the Canucks but was interrupted before they got to the torso. And the pants! With all the guys in identical red hats and white pants, I wasn’t sure if I was watching a hockey game or a Pet Shop Boys music video. Oh, and the logo? Can someone find me a Windows 95 PC so I can mock that thing up in MS Paint, then build me a time machine so I can go be a graphic designer in 1910? Thanks.
Haiku to describe Chris’s feelings whenever he sees this jersey: This is the wrong way To do red and white shirts. The
Right way won 5-2.
Alex Ovechkin has been underwhelming since the Russians got spanked 7-3 by Canada in the 2010 Olympic quarterfinal. Photo borrowed from the über-talented Pat Molnar at http://www.patmolnar.com.
We started our series on surprises in the NHL with a look at Martin Brodeur and the New Jersey Devils, who continue the play that took them to the Stanley Cup Finals last season. Loads of pundits called the LA Kings to roll roughshod over the Western Conference in defence of their championship, but you’ll be hard pressed to find one who thought the Devils would be the class of the East at the quarter pole after the lockout.
If we’re going to discuss head-scratchers, we have to talk about the Washington Capitals. They sit dead last in the league with just nine measly points after 13 games. Four years ago, this team was poised to become a perennial contender. They had an explosive core of offensive talent and an owner in Ted Leonsis who was willing to spend the bucks necessary to bring a Cup to DC.
More after the jump.
Pucked in the Head is taking part in the 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer. You can help us reach our fundraising goal by throwing a few bucks at our campaign, at http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/jasonkurylo2013.
In an age of hyper marketing, intense competition and tightly controlled PR, it’s amazing that truly horrible ideas can still make it past the brainstorming stage. Whether it’s the nightmare of design by committee or just a conflagration of mediocre talents pulling the wool over the eyes of out of touch rich CEOs, we occasionally see awful designs rolled out in an underwhelming explosion of anticlimax. Today, we analyze the most recent NHL obscenity with the introduction of a new Seven Things series: Somebody Approved This.
