Tag Archives: NHL

Articles, Hockey

It’s gonna be a long season

The 2021 Vancouver Canucks are objectively not a good hockey team. Oh sure, once in a while they put together a solid period, but for the most part they’re like the middle Harry Potter novels: a few likeable but wildly inconsistent characters meander through overly long situations. Meanwhile, gaping holes leave even the most devoted fans wondering if and when we’ll see light at the end of the tunnel.

Brock Boeser might lose hockey games, but he sure as shootin’ didn’t lose the genetic lottery, amirite? Here he is doing his impression of a young Brad Pitt from A River Runs Through It. Screen capture from a Sportsnet intermission interview.

Elias Pettersson scored his first goal against the Habs on Saturday, but he has literally stumbled out of the gate so far this season. But even when he’s stayed on his skates, EP40 has looked ever so terrestrial thus far. Here’s an egregious giveaway that turned into a shorty for the rouge, blanc, et bleu:

Petey hasn’t been the only one. The Canucks as a team have been awash in unforced errors, a fact not lost on social media of all stripes.

Here’s last year’s leading scorer, JT Miller, showing us why his return was what this Canucks team needed to get off to the races. Oh. Wait.

The only bright spot this season has been Bo Horvat, whose five goals in seven games positions has him tied in the early race for this year’s Rocket Richard trophy. Not only is he milking that bumper spot on the power play like a young Mike Bossy, Horvat is getting up in the grill of opponents who take liberty with Vancouver goalkeepers:

Okay, but back to that Bo Horvat, Goal Scorer thing for a minute. It is imperative that the Canucks build multiple looks into the power play. When teams take away the Pettersson one-timer, or when Pettersson is in a funk and misfires, or when the mother ship comes to take Pettersson back to Planet Hockey, this beautiful tic-tac-toe routine has to do the heavy lifting. And in the first seven games, both Canuck wins dumped freaking pianos on this play’s back.

No matter what happens between the pipes at the other end, however, Vancouver needs some serious work on the back end. Even if it’s the lowly Ottawa Senators, giving the opposition this much open ice is going to end badly for the good guys:

I’m not sure this one is Holtby’s fault.
That’s what we in the biz call a shitty line change.

Coverage like this, coupled with all of those giveaways mentioned earlier, is unacceptable in fricking beer league. This despite the fact that the Canucks have well over $20 million wrapped up in their top seven defenders. Good citizens, that’s more than a quarter of the salary cap!

Screen grab from https://www.capfriendly.com/teams/canucks.

I enjoy chaos as much as the next guy — well okay, maybe not as much as Jeff Marek — but frankly this team is lacking what we call in soccer, ‘shape’. At any given time, a team with good shape is in a position to react to their opponent. If there’s a loose puck, there’s a player nearby to go after it. If there’s an attack, a defender can mitigate the situation. If there’s a chance to advance, there’s a player ready to move forward.

Good teams support the puck; that means, when your defenceman pinches into a forward position, you cover their patch of ice. If you’re defending a two-on-one, you don’t slide feet first into the corner; you take away the pass and diminish the puck carrier’s options. And for crying out loud, you don’t give a talented goal scorer like Tyler Toffoli acres of open ice to play around in on multiple occasions over a three-game stretch. The Canucks are successfully executing pretty much none of these things for long stretches at the moment. Like a minivan full of toddlers, they seem to just pile onto the ice whenever their number is called and mindlessly chase the puck en masse until the referee stops play.

As a result, the Canucks have allowed 33 goals in just seven games. That’s not just worst in the NHL, it’s the worst by a full 10 goals. Edmonton is atrocious and sit at 30th overall, and they’ve only given up 23 goals in that same span.

There may only be 56 games on the schedule this year, but if this continues, it’s gonna be a helluva long year for Canucks fans.

Articles, Hockey

Alberta Bound (and Gagged)

We wondered which Vancouver team would show up for game four in Calgary: the grimy, grindy, gritty crew that forces chances and supports the puck, or the listless, lazy, l… whatever other l-words belong here team that takes penalties and gives up five goals a game. As it turned out, the answer was both.

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, you red four-point bastards.

During the first period, the Canucks dogged every puck carrier, they dug the puck out of the corners, and they did all the little things that win hockey games. They hustled, they hit, and Adam Gaudette alone had a bushelful of chances, but that damned Markstrom fella turned away his two breakaways and a glorious one-timer like an Albertan offered a mask at a grocery store.

They did manage to score. Yes, they scored! (Well, not on the power play. Jacob Markstrom had to make some spectacular stops, though. That’s good, right?) After 40 shots over three and a half periods, Jake Virtanen was GOOD FROM DOWNTOWN. Sadly, this ain’t basketball, so his 70-footer only counted for one point.

At least the People Who Wear Orcas had one thing to celebrate this night.

The lack of a three-point line in the ice hockey came back to haunt the Canucks, because after dominating the period — their best in this short 2021 season thus far — they held a huge edge in shots but were only one puck up on the stinkin’ beefeatin’ saddledomin’ Calgary Flames.

In the second period, Calgary killed an early penalty, then just… I’m sorry, this is very emotional. Vancouver had 16 shots in the first period, but only 11 the rest of the way. The Flames, they just… well, they took over. They put four past Thatcher Demko, who’s now allowed nine goals in two starts, and added a fifth into an empty net.

Vancouver has given up seven goals on 21 power plays so far this season, tied for 28th overall. They’ve scored exactly zero times on 15 chances of their own, which ties them for *checks notes* dead last in the NHL. Them numbers’re what we in the business call a bad combination.

Lost in all of this is the fact that Elias Pettersson looks like his mind isn’t on the game. Not even the return of JT Miller was able to break him out of the funk. At one point in the first period, Pettersson and Brock Boeser had a two-man breakaway on Markstrom, and he looked positively flabbergasted when a pass came his way. It wasn’t the best pass, I’ll admit, but come on buddy, that kind of thing is your bread and butter. You’re not supposed to stutter step and nearly fall down as the puck screams into the corner… You’re the ALIEN, dammit. Dive. Make magic. DO YOUR DEKES ALREADY, PETEY.

Long story short, the Canucks have now played three good periods of hockey in 2021. Alas, those three periods have occurred over a four-game stretch. That 1-3 record is precisely where this squad deserves to be right now.

Naming the divisions after corporate entities is perhaps the most egregious evidence of Gary Bettman’s status as a Shill with No Soul. (Translation: let’s talk about anything but the fact that even Ottawa is above Vancouver in the standings just now. OTTAWA.)

Articles, Hockey

Good news and bad news…

The good: Jacob Markstrom was solid in the shutout win, and Chris Tanev blocked like a bazillion shots and helped shut down the opposition’s top line.

The bad: those guys play for the Calgary Flames now.

Goaltender Jacob Markstrom, 30, and defenseman Chris Tanev, 31, are accused of stealing Vancouver Canuck fans’ hearts. The two men are believed to be hiding out, along with two-way winger Josh Leivo, in Calgary, Alberta. They are considered talented and dangerous. Mugshots from NHL.com.

Over the first three games, we’ve seen three very different looks from the Vancouver Canucks. In game one, the squad arrived in Edmonton with their lunchbuckets firmly in hand. From the top of the roster to the bottom, they skated hard, they bumped & ground, and they flummoxed an Oilers team that is by most measures more talented. Every player on the scorecard was dangerous, so the Oil didn’t know where to focus. Result: 5-3 win.

In game two, the good guys let Edmonton dictate play. Yes, the Canucks have some talent — elite talent, even, in Quinn Hughes and Elias Pettersson — but they just ain’t going to keep up with a roster full of Connor McDavids, Leon Draisaitls, Kailer Yamamotos, and Ryan Nugent-Hopkinses. Without the bottom six doling out hits and otherwise worrying the Oiler D, the Canuck top six found themselves working without the puck, and without much movement when they did get it. What I said above, re: ‘more talented’. Result: 5-2 loss.

Game three against the Calgary Flames saw a lot of shots both ways, but not much movement. Last season, mostly in the first half of the schedule, the Canucks feasted on the man advantage. Petey, Hughes, Brock Boeser, JT Miller, Bo Horvat… They buzzed the zone, putting the heads of penalty killers on pikes and turning opposition goaltenders dizzy. So far this year? Not so much. Here’s a video of the Canucks power play against Calgary:

Okay this is not a video, but it might as well be: the Canucks power play has gone 0-fer on the season so far, largely due to NO MOVEMENT WHATSOEVER. Newell Brown, whither your power play?

The Flames, by contrast, scored thrice when up a skater. Frankly the Canucks made it easy for Jacob Markstrom in his first game against his old club. Hopefully before game four, Travis Green reminds them that Marky isn’t their goalie any more; this isn’t warmup, and their job ain’t to shoot at 70% into his pads. Result: 3-0 loss.

Game four goes tonight, and JT Miller is back. Will he prove to be the stick that stirs the drink, as Vancouver sports radio has desperately posited the past couple of days? Or will the Canucks quickly fall to 1-3 and be an early front-runner for a lottery spot in the draft? Only four teams make the playoffs in the North (Canadian) Division. If Vancouver plays like it did in game one, they’ve got a shot at the post-season. If they put in efforts like we saw in games two and three, this year will feel a lot longer than 56 games.

On another note, what is it with the massive, yet subtle orca logos on Braden Holtby? Are these painted onto his equipment?

Braden Holtby sports a gorgeous new mask, but his nipples are about to be eaten by orcas. Screen capture alt-shift-4ed from SportsnetNOW.

Out of town, the best-looking team so far has been the Habs. Like, les mains vers le bas. What the Canucks did in game one, the Habs have done in three straight. Sure, they lost the opener to the dirty rotten stinkin’ Maple Leafs, but they were unlucky to do so, the tying goal literally bouncing into the slot off the referee to let Toronto back in it. Marc Bergevin has put together an entertaining, uptempo roster, and don’t be surprised if Montreal wins this division going away.

Did a double take when Joe Thornton scored his first as a Maple Leaf the other night. Everyone talks about “Old Man Joe”, and that beard speaks to a thousand years of growth, experience and wisdom, so it was no surprise when announcers said he was the second-oldest player to ever score a goal in a Leafs uniform. The part that hurt? At 41 years, 198 days of age, Old Man Joe is 8.5 years younger than I am.

Joseph Eric Thornton of the St Thomas, Ontario Thorntons was born in 41 BCE.
Articles, Hockey

Clutch my pearls that’s pretty

Dave Tippett tore the Oilers a new one after Wednesday’s opening night loss. He lit into them for playing a complacent game, giving up on plays, and donating scads of open ice to Canuck forwards. He may or may not have used a few o’ them fancy cuss words that Nicholas Cage is talking about over on the Netflix. When he was done, he stomped out of the dressing room. The rest is ridiculous.

How Connor McDavid doesn’t score 100 goals a year boggles the mind. This guy’s skillset is ridiculous. Photo cribbed from the Oilers website.

Long story short, Connor McDavid and the rest of the Oilers big guns were having none of the Canucks bullshit in game two. McDavid lit the lamp once, twice, thrice, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins scored a brace, and Leon Draisaitl put up four assists. It was a track meet, okay? But who are we kidding, it’s the Chosen One we need to discuss here.

The Canucks had a decent start, at least. Thatcher Demko made a couple of spectacular saves, the top line had a couple of power play looks, and the good guys were down just 1-0 with 2.5 seconds left in the first. Then, well, this happened.

Okay, we knew the Canucks wouldn’t keep McDavid goalless all season. After the intermission, they came out buzzing, Nate Schmidt lasered his first as a Canuck, whooping into the empty stands like Ric Flair gone wild… and then somebody queued up Sweet Georgia Brown.

Ain’t nobody stopping that.

After that, it was a track meet. And when you run against the fastest guy on the planet, you lose.

You can’t blame Demko tonight. He made 41 saves against one of the most potent offenses in the league. The guy at the other end of the ice, though, Mikko Koskinen, made 38 saves on 40 tries. Count ’em up, and McDavid scored one more than the entire Canucks team.

Full game highlights here:

Articles, Hockey

Stanley Cup final prediction

I would love nothng more than seeing PK Subban carry the Stanley Cup into Montreal Children’s Hospital. I would totally get behind Pekka Rinne’s name on the Conn Smythe trophy as playoff MVP. I’d even sing along if Carrie Underwood twanged her way through a cover of The Good Ol’ Hockey Game by Stompin’ Tom.

Sadly for @PredsOnTheGlass and all the other country-fried hockey fans in Nashville, it’s not meant to be.

Sidney Crosby is going to lead the Pittsburgh Penguins to back-to-back championships, the first time a team has repeated since Steve Yzerman captained the Detroit Red Wings to consecutive Cups in 1997 and 1998.

The Pens are just too deep, too good, and they’ve been here before. Nashville are rested, yes, but they’ve also had time to cool off since their wins over the underwhelming Blues and the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ Ducks. From Sid and Evgeni Malkin down through rookie Jake Guentzel and beard salesman Nick Bonino, Pittsburgh just gets things done.

Nashville is an impressive unit, and they’ve earned their spot here in the final, but it will take a minor miracle (or some strategic injuries) to unseat the champs. Let’s just hope every single game is good hockey, because thus far this post-season has been damned entertaining. It would be a damned shame if the Preds’ first final appearance — and Sid’s third Cup win — was a dog.

Pens in six.

Sid wore this badass Gladiator helmet after winning the Cup last year. This year, will he go Lord of the Rings?

Articles, Hockey

Round Two Predictions

My calls for the last round were pretty good, actually, all things considered. I tapped the Rangers, Senators, Penguins, Blues, Ducks and Capitals; my only misses came from Edmonton — but the ageing Sharks had injuries across the board, so I give myself a pass on that one — and Nashville — a sweep, seriously? Nobody predicted that.

Record so far: 6-2.

Pekka Rinne played out of his mind for that first round. I mean, did you see this? PK Subban’s energy has to be rousing that locker room just as much as the sea of mustard at Bridgestone Arena, and Peter Laviolette behind the bench has the Preds playing as well as I’ve ever seen them play. Still, the boys from St Loo are just too deep, and it’s Vladimir Tarasenko’s year, methinks. Blues in six.

The addition of Connor McDavid has instilled an actual work ethic in the Edmonton dressing room. For a few years now, they’ve been fun to watch, but half of that was in anticipation of the inevitable self-inflicted immolation. I thought it had happened again when the San Jose Sharks scored a touchdown in Game Four of the first round, but the Oilers impressed with two straight wins directly afterward. All of this points to a Western Conference powerhouse for years to come. However, this year their goaltending is going to let them down. Anaheim can feel the window closing on that core of Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, Ryan Kesler, Jakob Silfverberg and Cam Fowler. I hate to give those shitty webfooted jerseys another round, but I’ve got to call Ducks in six. I’ll be thrilled if the Oil can prove me wrong.

Erik Karlsson is my second favourite NHL defenceman (after Drew Doughty, natch), and Craig Anderson’s personal situation makes the Sens an easy emotional choice. Hell, they’ve even got Alex Burrows gutting out shift after shift to pull on my heart strings. Karlsson is rumoured to be playing on a wonky foot, however, and Burrows is done as far as slaying dragons is concerned. Across the ice is a squad just one year removed from a Stanley Cup loss to the LA Kings; Henrik Lundqvist has all but said that his window is about shut, and Alain Vigneault knows how to get teams deep in this tournament. Rangers in six.

Aha, the pièce de rĂ©sistance. Sidney Crosby versus Alex Ovechkin. So far in their careers, Sid the Kid has owned Ovi8; sure, the big Russian has won more Rocket Richard trophies for scoring the most goals in a single season, but Sid has two Olympic gold medals, a couple of Stanley Cups, a Conn Smythe, and too many other awards to count. Just last year, the Penguins followed Crosby’s lead to one of the strongest second half / playoff combinations we’ve seen in recent memory. This year, Sid was dominant, winning his second career Richard trophy and finishing second in league scoring. The Pens are as deep as the day is long, and are a serious threat to repeat as Cup champions. All of this aside (not to mention Malkin’s 11 first-round points against the Blue Jackets), this is Ovechkin’s year. Brayden Holtby is just plain better than Marc-Andre Fleury between the pipes, and the Caps have TJ Oshie, Kevin Shattenkirk, Nicklas Backstrom… and you never, ever bet against Justin Williams in the playoffs. Caps in the most entertaining seven-game series we’ve seen since the ’94 Canucks-Rangers final.

 

Articles, Hockey

A Series of Unfortunate Decisions – The Promising Prospect

Dear Canucks Fan,

You have no doubt become aware of this, yet I still feel it necessary to warn you that the hockey team you follow is terrible. Languishing low in the league, Vancouver, despite its stated intention of competing for a playoff spot, seems instead destined to once again offer its fans the cold consolation  of a lottery pick.

(My apologies for the Lemony Snicket-style alliteration, I’m just really excited for Neil Patrick Harris as Count Olaf.) Continue reading A Series of Unfortunate Decisions – The Promising Prospect →

Articles, Hockey

Weird Goals II

We at Pucked in the Head appreciate weirdness. Odd scoring plays, in particular, bring us equal parts unbridled joy and unsolicited hate mail. Consequently, we are happily wary to present this, the second installment of Weird Goals. (The inaugural Weird Goals post can be found here.)

Loui Eriksson starts off his Canucks tenure with a bang
From horrible trades and season-long injuries to embarrassing contracts and mysterious coaching changes, the Vancouver Canucks have had a rough go of things since gifting the Boston Bruins the 2011 Stanley Cup final. The latest bit of bizarre came on the opening night of 2016-17 against the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ Calgary Flames.

After signing a big off-season free agent contract, Loui Eriksson was making his Canucks debut. Less than ten minutes into the first period, Troy Brouwer drew a penalty; Ryan Miller skated to the bench for an extra attacker, as the Canucks had possession. Eriksson found himself hounded by four — count ’em, four! — Flames, and despite having the delayed penalty on his side, panicked. He threw the puck back to his defenseman, but WAIT! The D were thinking line change and/or attack, so the puck slid the length of the ice and directly into the Vancouver net. Brouwer got credit for the snipe before heading to the box for an ineffective Canucks power play.

Interesting point: after this game, Canucks goalie Ryan Miller had a perfect 1.000 save percentage, and courtesy of a Vancouver shootout win, a 1-0 record. However, he was not credited with a shutout because of Eriksson’s blunder.

Twitter just it up, as you can imagine. BTW, after nine games in Canuck blue and green, this remains Eriksson’s lone goal of the season.

Flames score as Dumba goal as you’ll ever see
What the hell, Calgary? You get all these bizarro goals and you’re still a Pacific Division stinker? I mean, sure, you’ve got that one win for Lanny back in ’89, but jeez Louise, you’ve gotta turn all of these awful gimmes into more than one lousy Cup.

Devan Dubnyk has no chance at all when a shot by David Jones goes off Mike Reilly’s stick, then caroms off Matt Dumba’s head into the net.

Marc Bergevin throws the puck into his own net
Who says the San Jose Sharks only have bad luck? Early in this game against the St Louis Blues, Marc Bergevin decides to gift some karma to Mike Ricci et al with a shortstop-worthy flip into the back of his own goal. Gary Suter dumps the puck in; Bergevin gloves it and tries to fling it away from the onrushing Sharks forwards. Instead, it flies past a stunned Roman Turek into the Blues net. Tie game.

Ed Belfour gifts Mike Gartner, 1993 All-Star Game
Mike Gartner isn’t supposed to play. An allegedly hungover Ed Belfour probably shouldn’t. Together, they make magic in the first period of the 1993 All-Star Game.

Belfour comes well out of the net to prevent the fastest skater in the league from catching up to an Adam Oates clearing play, and lets the puck through the wickets with hilariously bad form. Gartner, added to the lineup to replace injured Rangers teammate Mark Messier, scores his second goal in 22 seconds to put the Wales Conference up 2-0 early. (He goes on to score two more and earn MVP honours before the game is out; Belfour allows six goals in his 20 minutes of duty.)

Bonus: the 1993 All-Star Game in its entirety.
Watch Wayne Gretzky, Ray Bourque, Patrick Roy, Steve Yzerman, Pat Lafontaine, Pavel Bure, Alexander Mogilny and Adam Oates, among others, as the Wales Conference beats the Campbell Conference 16–6. Twenty years ago, the ASG was actually watchable.

 

Articles, Hockey

2016-17 NHL Fantasy Draft, part one

It’s been four years since I last joined a hockey pool. I’ve enjoyed the game far more in years that I don’t have a horse in the race, you know? This season, though, I thought I’d throw caution to the manure-flavoured wind and join a workmate’s keeper fantasy league. Here’s how my draft went (part one):

Round One – Vladimir Tarasenko (RW), 8th overall pick
Even if he plays for the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ St Louis Blues, Vladimir Tarasenko is bloody exciting to watch. He’s an explosive player whose speed and agility recall a young Pavel Bure, and I loved watching Pavel play. This guy can score from just about anywhere, and last year he did — 40 goals was good for fourth overall in the NHL in 2015-16. Tarasenko is on the cover of EA Sports NHL 17, and ranked at #6 overall by Greg Wyshynski over at Puck Daddy.
Picked 8th overall, just after Steven Stamkos — how the hell does Stammer go 7th?!?!? — and one before Joe Pavelski.

Vladimir Tarasenko of the St Louis Blues is the EA Sports NHL 17 cover dude, and my first round pick. Photo cribbed from the St Louis Blues website.
Vladimir Tarasenko of the St Louis Blues is the EA Sports NHL 17 cover dude, and my first round pick. Photo cribbed from the St Louis Blues website.

Round Two – Erik Karlsson (D), 17th overall pick
Karlsson’s 82 points was good for fifth in the league last year (well, tied for fourth but Joe Thornton had three more goals than Karlsson). Buddy had 66 assists despite playing on the woeful Ottawa Senators. Again, a joy to watch this guy play the game. It’s easy to cheer for someone who makes plays like this.
Picked 17th overall, just after Carey Price and one before Ben Bishop.

Round Three- Artemi Panarin (LW), 32nd overall pick
Artemi Panarin was lightning with Patrick Kane last season. Sure, there are rumours the Blackhawks might split them up to start the year, but he’ll still be on a line with Jonathan Toews and Marian Hossa. How , oh how will he ever score 77 points again with those losers on his line; huge loss for the plucky sophomore. Yes, I just wrote ‘plucky sophomore’ — mainly because of this:

Picked 32nd overall, just after Dustin Byfuglien and one before Cory Schneider.

Rounds 4-15 to come.

Articles, Hockey

Thanks a lot, Ovi

I was all kinds of cynical coming into the World Cup of Hockey. “Who cares about Gary Bettman fellating Toronto for two weeks?” I asked. “It’s just a glorified pre-season cash grab.”

It’s easy to stand by those remarks. Many of the world’s best hockey players — Phil Kessel among them — aren’t spending these couple of weeks in Hogtown wearing their national flags. In the case of Team Europe and Team North America, even the players who are there are wearing shirts with meaningless, made-up logos.

It’s easy to laugh at the States — Tortorella, Kesler & Co. just take themselves so seriously — so Kessel’s jibe on Twitter is too joyfully snarky to shake off. But let’s admit it: the Yanks weren’t that bad. They outshot the Czechs by a wide margin, and put a pretty good scare into Canada for ten to fifteen minutes of the first period. Even when that elimination game was a foregone conclusion, the good guys up by three goals in the third period, America the beautiful hit three posts and even scored one to make it interesting. Face facts, and it was a lucky bounce off of Corey Perry’s gut that proved the turning point in Canada’a game two romp.

I’m not upset at the U.S. getting knocked out, especially after the clusterbleep of Americentric propaganda coming out of the Rio Olympics. What kills me is the elimination of Team North America. That entire team played with jump and grit nearly every shift. Their breakneck speed and puppy-like enthusiasm brought fans out of their seats, coaching systems bedamned. Mistakeswwre made multiple times per shift! It’s what makes the World Juniors such a blast every year — even goals against are spectacular.

Coach Todd McLellan saw the speed and skill of the kids and decided to play — gasp — a fun style of hockey. After all, if you peer through the bluster of hockey media and clear away the vast sums of money that lather up those precious athletic egos, fun is what the game is supposed to be about, isn’t it?

But back to Mother Russia. Tarasenko and his comrades issued a 4-3 comeback against  the younguns featured a colossal second-period meltdown that must have felt pretty familiar to the Maple Leaf fans in the building; the only difference here was that Team North America very nearly scored their way out of the problem. Russia was merely lucky not to let these kids into overtime.

Mans so we have a Saturday night loser-go-home tilt between Canada and Russia. And somehow it feels like meh.

It’s hard to believe that Sid the Not-A-Kid-Anymore versus the Great Eight is a letdown, but damn it all, that Team North America was just so bloody entertaining, it’s a shame to see them sit after just three games. We may never see Connor McDavid set up Auston Matthews for another goal again. Ever. And that’s hard to swallow.

Damn it, even Team North America’s goal song was fun.

The good news is that the Toronto Star says the Crosby-Ovechkin rivalry still exists. You know, except that one of them has won multiple Stanley Cups, Olympic gold medals and a long-running Tim Hortons contract. The other? Sure, he’s got a Rocket Richard trophy or two — Ovechkin can snipe all the live long day — and some World Championship titles, but you only win those when your team is out of the playoffs early. Fact: Alex Ovechkin will forever be judged by the hardware he hasn’t won. Right now he’s in the mix for the Best Player Who’s Never Won a Cup award with the Sedins, Marcel Dionne and Darryl Sittler.

Alex Ovechkin is the dirty, rotten, stinkin' bastard who robbed us of a Canada-Team North America semi at the World Cup of Hockey.
Alex Ovechkin is the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ bastard who robbed us of a Canada-Team North America semi at the World Cup of Hockey.

Even if he does manage a miracle, and gets Russia past Canada this Saturday, even if he then helps win the best-of-three final against either Sweden or Team Europe, a pre-season, cash grabbing World Cup of Hockey trophy won’t bring him up to Crosby’s level.