It’s Whitecaps Wednesday, which means we at Pucked in the Head are out and about in our Vancouver soccer kits, hoisting pints and chanting in pubs all day long. As such, Chris and I don’t have time to do much writing and picturing for you. Kudos to Russell Arbuthnot (@arbuoutthere), then,  for filing this literate, epithet-heavy story after Whitecaps FC finally lose a home match, 1–0 to the Philadelphia Union.

VANCOUVER, B.C. – When healthy, Vancouver Whitecaps FC boasts one of the most potent offensive lineups in MLS soccer. Camilo “Mean Muggin’” Sanvezzo currently leads the league with 14 goals, while fellow striker Kenny “The Mauler” Miller sits in a tie for seventh with six markers. Russell “Dat Good Canadian Kid” Teibert is tied for 3rd in assists with seven, despite having played in just 12 games thus far.  As a team, the Caps rank 2nd in goals with 33 and have racked up 29 assists this year, good enough for 4th overall.

Even casual fans who aren’t much for the numbers notice the Whitecaps offensive style. Between Miller, Camillo, Teibert and Gershon Koffie and Darren Mattocks, Vancouver has breathtaking speed up front. They’re regularly running onto balls behind opposition defenders. Keepers have trouble gauging that kind of pace coming at them on a regular basis, forcing them to guess one way or the other. Whoosh. There’s Mattocks chipping the ball over a cheating keeper’s head in a win over Seattle. Boom. There’s Camillo burying one in the corner when the Chicago keeper gets caught too deep in his net.

More after the jump.

Continue reading Whitecaps Wednesday: Marques Midfield Madness has to stop →