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I’ll Be Alone Forever, Thanks to Kenny Miller

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Whitecaps Wednesday

For the second time in as many posts, we at PitH are proud to present a brand spankin’ new correspondent. Russell Arbuthnot (@ArbuOutThere in Twitterland) has been associated with the Abbotsford Heat hockey club over the past couple of seasons, but grew up playing, watching and otherwise obsessing about the beautiful game. He sat in the Pucked in the Head media seat at Saturday’s adrenaline-soaked Whitecaps FC match, and filed this ode to Kenny Miller’s cleats.

I’ll Be Alone Forever, Thanks to Kenny Miller
By Russell Arbuthnot

Kenny Miller scored twice, earning the Man of the Match award and MLS Player of the Week honours. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Kenny Miller scored twice, earning the Man of the Match award and MLS Player of the Week honours. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

The Vancouver Whitecaps welcomed the New England Revolution  to BC Place stadium for the first time on Saturday night. Both clubs came into the game with streaks on the line: the Revs (5-5-5, 20 pts, 6th in Eastern Conference) had collected points in each of their last 7 matches, while the ‘Caps (5-5-4, 19 pts, 7th in Western Conference) had yet to lose a game at home this season.

Before kickoff, Steve Nash (sort of) riled up the Whitecaps’ faithful with a (somewhat) rousing rendition of  “White is the Colour.” It’s safe to say the title of “best singing voice on a local sports franchise minority-owner” still belongs to Michael Bublé — Nash’s many pitch problems were only outdone by the New England Revolution in the first half.

I’m not kidding. It’s not sure whether the visiting team’s boots were manufactured by Becel, but judging by the amount of time New England players spent on the turf in the opening minutes, someone had greased the cleats.

Despite the wardrobe malfunction(s), the Revolution jumped out to an early lead in the 10th minute, when Juan Agudelo exposed a ‘Caps defensive hole the size of Nantucket before converting a lovely through ball from left back Chris Tierney. Just 10 minutes later, Kelyn Rowe doubled their lead on a wonderful finish from12 yards out. The Whitecaps’ defensive woes, which have dogged them all season, were once again proving to be costly. This team, however, is nothing if not resilient.

Maybe it was hearing goalkeeper Brad Knighton deliver a tongue-lashing to the back line, or maybe it was seeing the image of a parched Mr. Nash solemnly eating fries on the big screen that changed the intensity of the Vancouver squad. His thirst had to be quenched, and Knighton in all of his pink-clad fury had to be heeded.

It was Miller time.

More, including a rousing Ode to Kenny Miller’s Cleats, after the jump.

In response to Kenny Miller's brace of goals, Hervé (@1stLineCentre) leads the Southsiders in a stirring rendition of Ludvig van Beethoven's adaptation of Freidrich Schiller's poem, Ode to Joy. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
In response to Kenny Miller’s brace of goals, Hervé (@1stLineCentre) leads the Southsiders in a stirring rendition of Ludvig van Beethoven’s adaptation of Freidrich Schiller’s 1785 poem, Ode to Joy. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

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