Jersey: The 2012 EHC Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams Hallowe’en jersey.

Years worn: 2012, one game only.

Reaction: “Ha! Look, the bear’s brains are showing!”

Most famous players to wear it: Niko Dimitrakos had a good run in the NHL. Kai Hospelt is the lone Wolfsburg player to have played in the Vancouver Olympics.

Why it’s great: Wearers of European hockey jerseys tend to resemble NASCAR vehicles more than hockey players. On this jersey, however, the advertising is pleasingly subdued. The jersey also has a huge zombie bear with a scythe. And more zombies in the background. And a font that drips blood! If you love Hallowe’en, it’s impossible to dislike this jersey.

Why it’s garbage: Less is supposed to be more, when it comes to design. The crew throwing this thing together leaped on the space freed up by the reduced advertising like an American on the local 7-11’s last remaining Twinkie and used it to cram in every piece of clichéd Hallowe’en imagery they could think of. “Hey Helmut, you forgot about the witch on the broomstick flying across the moon!” “Ah scheisse, sorry Jürgen! The right shoulder’s free, see if you can squeeze it in there!”

Haiku to describe Chris’s feelings whenever he sees this jersey:
Braaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnns
BRAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSS
Zombies suck at poetry.

Other jerseys we can’t believe somebody approved:
New York Islanders third jersey (rumoured), 2012
Seattle Sounders third jersey, 2012
Vancouver Canucks alternate jersey, 1995-1997